


A reality based on fantasy

by SuYeon



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe, Asexual Character, Attempted Murder, Family Issues, Gyokuen is herself and not possesed by Arba, Hakuyuu will die at some point but will return, I also changed the age of the characters and therefore also the age gapse between them, Ships might be added later on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2018-08-23 22:51:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 42,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8345884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuYeon/pseuds/SuYeon
Summary: The day Ren Hakuyuu had died had been the day the gods decided to interfere with the human world.Hakuyuu had never believed in gods, but he had to change his believes as soon as he met one and was "bestowed" with a task to fulfill. The god was “kind” enough to also bestow upon him a power strong enough to archive his goal. All he had to do was to learn how to control and use that power – and how to handle the not so nice side effects. What Hakuyuu didn't knew was there was a second task, the second trial, he had to accomplish.And so the young prince sets out for a journey to fulfil his duties without even knowing that he had them, while trying to take back his country and save the world from an insane cult. At his side his younger brother Hakuren.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I am sure I totally messed up all the tenses, but I do not care.

Hakuyuu had known that he had to die one day. He had known that every day could have been his last. Every battle could have been the last. Every breath he had taken could have been the last.  
He had been the first born son of the emperor. He had been the crown prince and the future emperor. One could say he had been the most wanted man after this father in the empire. His family had known that as well. Everyone had known it. Still, there was nothing they could have done to change that.

Hakutoku, Hakuyuu’s father, tried to unify the world under one ruler and therewith end all wars. Unfortunately, just stopping wars did not mean that there weren’t assassins anymore and that people would suddenly start to love each other. After the unification more time would be needed to erase the hate and dissatisfaction. Hakutoku knew that maybe even his children or grandchildren would have to work for such a future and still he had set himself the goal to reach that dream in his own lifetime.

Although, they all had known that death could happen anytime and did not care about age, it was an utter disaster when the royal physician had entered the throne room and reported the death of the crown prince.  
Hakutoku was a tall, muscular, stern man. He had fought many battles. Death was not new to him. He had seen it so many times. He had lost so many people. Life wasn’t fair neither was death. Despite knowing that, losing his son had been too much. He had been lucky that he was sitting on his throne and not standing somewhere. He wasn’t sure whether he would have been able to stand tall when hearing about the passing of his child.  
Silence had been the only response he had been able to give to the worried physician.

Hakutoku had taken it upon himself to inform his wife about the tragedy. Gyokuen, his wife, had been making paper cranes together with their youngest child. She hadn't had react. Her tears had been the only indication that she had heard and understood his words. Their child on the other hand hadn't been so silent.Their child had been young, but not stupid and had been old enough to know what death was. An explanation as to why something so cruel had happened to Hakuyuu had been needed. Why. Someone should have comforted their child. Hakutoku hadn't been capable of doing so. He himself hadn't known why his son had to die or the cause of his death – no one had known. And showing affection had been something that he had never really learned. On the other hand, even if he had wanted to do something or would have been capable to doing something, he hadn't had been able to do it anyway, since his body had refused to move and his brain had refused to think.

The day Ren Hakuyuu had died had been the day the whole palace went silent.  
The day Ren Hakuyuu had died had been the day the emperor cried himself to sleep.  
The day Ren Hakuyuu had died had been day the black king arrived at the palace.

The day Ren Hakuyuu had died had been the day the gods decided to interfere with the human world.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hakuyuu is waking up after being asleep for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter happens before the events of the prolouge. Hence, Hakuyuu is still alive and (more or less) fine.
> 
> Reviews/Comments would be very much appreciated.

Everything was black. Somewhere people made a fuss which annoyed him. They were talking, shouting and he could hear them running around. Unfortunately, he could not understand what they were saying or sometimes shouting. What was going on and why could these people not be a little bit quieter? Why were they in his room anyway? He tried to open his eyes. They should leave his room! What if they wanted to harm him? Of course, if they really wanted to hurt him, they had done so already, but that was a thought which did not cross his mind. What did cross his mind was the thought that his body did not respond to his orders. Panic started to raise inside of him. Hakuyuu did not understand what was going on or what was wrong with himself. Where was he? Was he at home or still on a campaign with his father? So many questions without an answer. And there were even more questions. Questions he did not thought or dared to think of.

Suddenly, his surroundings turned silent. Not completely, since a few people were still whispering with each other. But better than nothing!  
His panic and fear on the other hand did not disappear or got less. He still tried to open his eyes, but failed. His body also still refused to move. Even so he was able to feel. He could feel the bed beneath him, the blanket and the warm hand that took his. The warmth he felt made him realize how cold he himself was.  
“Hakuyuu, can you hear me?”  
Yes!  
Yes, he could hear his father, he just couldn’t respond to him. Not with words and not with actions. Hakuyuu became sad and angry. The panic, on the other hand, became less. When his father was at his side he was at a safe place, wasn’t he? Everything would be fine, right?

Something wet was put on his face. Maybe a washcloth. It felt like one. The water was really helpful and felt good. Slowly, very slowly, he started to open his eyes. The light in the room he was in wasn’t bright and still his eyes did not like the brightness. It was too much for them. So he closed them again only to reopen them. It took him awhile until he was able to keep them open.  
More importantly, how long had he been asleep? Probably for too long. His body felt so stiff.  
“Hakuyuu, how are you? Can you hear me? Can you see me?”  
His father sounded so worried. An unfamiliar sound. Usually his father did not let his feelings show. It would make him vulnerable. As a ruler he had to appear strong before his people and even stronger before his enemies. On the other hand showing emotions was something a man, a warrior of the imperial Ren family did not do anyway. His father had taught him not to cry, not to be a wimp, not to show his feelings. He taught him to be strong, to be a man, to be a warrior, to be someone that never let his emotion gets the best of him. Hakuyuu tried his best to be like his father wanted him to be so he would be a good ruler as him one day.

“Hakuyuu! Hakuyuu!”  
Someone called his name and Hakuyuu was sure that it was not his father. The person who called him sounded too desperate and the voice was too high. It was probably his mother who stroke through his hair and placed a kiss on his forehead, while calling his name over and over again. How embarrassing! Of course, he could understand that she was happy that he was more or less fine and woke up – his eyes were open, but his view was all blurry – but he was an adult and did not need his mother to treat him like a child. What should the soldiers and servants think of him when they saw his mother treating him like that? They would laugh about him! If he could talk, he would tell her to stop, but no word left his moth. Only a strange sound was heard.  
Great, more embarrassment! Hopefully not too many people were around at the moment. The present of his parents was enough! Unfortunately, Hakuyuu was not a lucky man – at least not now. Besides his father and his mother a doctor with a few nurses and his younger brother Hakuren were present as well. Two soldiers were standing outside of the room and made sure that no one who was not permitted was entering the room. Hakuren was sitting on a chair at the end of Hakuyuu’s bed. He had entered together with his father, but he had not spoken until now. He did not know what to say. Like his parents he was happy that Hakuryuu was fine again. They all had feared that Hakuyuu would die. The physicians had worked day and night for the past month to find out what was wrong with the crown prince and how to help him. They could not find any poison, wounds or any other sign that his body was harmed in anyway. The prince just did not wake up and his body was cold as ice.  
Never in his life had Hakuren hold a hand as cold as his brother’s hand. A scary experience.  
He had been with his father when a soldier told them about Hakuyuu’s condition suddenly getting better. Just the other day the head physician had told them that they were unable to find out what was wrong with the crown prince and therefore also didn’t know how to help him, how to cure him. When the emperor asked what this meant for his son the other man had looked at the ground and answered so quietly that it was hard to hear his words. Death. It meant death for the crown prince. Hakuren knew that his father was only pretending to be clam when he heard those words. Everyone knew. He didn’t say anything and left his father alone. Both of them needed time for themselves back then. 

Hakuren had already lost a brother. Losing another one was something he was too much. His mother would not survive another lose as well. When is younger brother had been taken away Hakuren had blamed himself. He hadn’t been able to save his younger brother and no one knew what had happened to him. Was he alive? Was he dead? Who was the culprit? Many unanswered question even after so many years.  
Losing yet another brother was too much. Yes, Hakuren knew there was nothing he could have done or could do for Hakuyuu, still his own helplessness, his uselessness made him feel guilty, angry, hopeless and so many other things. As the second son of the emperor his duty was to become an advisor for the future emperor. How should he fulfill his duty if there were no emperor? He did not want that title. It belonged to Hakuyuu and no one else! Hakuyuu was the only one fitting for the throne!  
Hakuren had decided to refine his sword skills and therewith distract himself from the thought of what may happen with his brother in the near future. He wanted to hold on to the hope of Hakuyuu’s survival. Everyone had hold onto this hope.

Understandably, the news of Hakuyuu getting better and probably waking up were a relief. Again Hakuren had been with his father that time and never in his life before had he seen his father running so fast. No one in the palace had ever seen the emperor running through the hallway like a madman before. Yet it was understandable. Hakuren had followed right behind his father. When he entered the room his brother was in he felt helpless at first. What should he do or say? Should he even do or say anything at all? Why was his brother so silent? Didn’t the soldier say that he was about to wake up? That his brother had mad some noises that sounded as if he was trying to talk? Why was he silent now? Maybe they had their hopes up for nothing. Maybe he should just sit down and accept that his brother was about to die. The noises that the doctors and nurses had heard were probably just his brother’s last tries to fight death, but he probably wasn’t strong enough to win.  
Seeing his father so desperately trying to make his son respond to him was heartbreaking. Therefore, Hakuren decided to look at his feet. He shouldn’t have come. 

There were no words to descript his happiness when his brother unexpectedly really opened his eyes and later even tried to say something. 

At that moment everyone thought that things would get better from now on, but life was a bitch and had other plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews/Comments would be very much appreciated.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hakuyuu will stay alive for a few more chapters. I want to describe him, his family and their situation a little bit more. And I hope you can enjoy the way I write Hakuyuu and Hakuren, since those two are the main characters of this fanfiction - surprising, I know ...
> 
> On another note: I am very proud of myself, because this chapter is relatively long. It is hard to write in s different language, especially longer texts. I know, I need to describe more and use more synonyms and I hope that I will get better each chapter.

The day after awakening was the strangest day in his life until now. Yesterday, he hadn’t been able to talk or to move. It got better over the course of the day at least his moving ability. He had fallen asleep and woke up only a few minutes later, just to fall asleep again. Somehow this was more exhausting than doing something. Well, who had thought that sleeping or better falling asleep was more exhausting than moving around, working or exercising? Hakuyuu hadn’t thought so. When he woke up this morning he was able to say a few words. His voice was quiet and somewhat scratchy. His body, on the other hand, did not feel stiff anymore and he was able to freely move around – as long as he stayed in bed, but that was something he only learned later on. While he felt sick, weak and more dead than alive yesterday, he felt pretty normal today. Although his feeling for hunger did not return yet. On the other hand, it was not odd that he wasn’t hungry – or better said felt hungry – shortly after awakening. Normally he would wake up, go to the bathroom, dress up for the day and then eat something – which meant that he had to go to the bathroom again and brush his teeth, but he had no problem with going to the bathroom twice – and then start his day. Today, he did nothing besides waking up, so there were a few things left to do before he could start his day in bed. And he really needed to go to the bathroom anyway. Since he was alone and therefore did not have someone to help him to get out of bed and safety into the bathroom, he decided to try it on his own. He did feel well enough, so why should he not be able to leave his bed? The plan went well until Hakuyuu’s feet ought to hold him. They failed him!  
The pain he felt when he hit the floor caused him to curse and to squall. Of course this was not unnoticed and two nurses entered the room.

As soon as he was sitting on his bed again the older nurse lectured him. Hakuyuu knew her. At least he knew that he knew her. He only did not know her name, even though she was already working in the palace when he was born and even before that. She had been there when his mother had given birth to him. Still he did not know her name. To be honest he never had cared about that.   
The second nurse stood a few steps behind the older woman and seemed not to know what to do or were to look at. Poor thing. She probably only had taken care of the soldiers or servants until now. Just a few nurses were allowed to aid the physicians when they treated members of the royal family. And only selected physicians were allowed to treat the royal family. The other were there for the servants, soldiers, other member of the palace and the guests.

After being scolded he told both women that he just wanted to go to the bathroom. Fortunately, his wish was granted. Unfortunately, he was not able to go alone and the older woman, her name was Ms. Liu – the younger woman called her Ms. Liu – refused to leave him alone. At least not when he wanted to wash himself since he couldn’t stand on his own, even a bath itself was not allowed as long as no one was around to watch him. At that point Hakuyuu wasn’t sure whether his father and mother were behind this, because they were worried about him, or the doctor who was in charge of him.  
The crown prince had never liked it when other people saw him naked or interfered in his privacy or independency, even when it was for his own good. Already as a child he tried to dress himself without the help of others pretty soon, so he did not need to undress in front of the servants or others. Now the servants only helped him with the clothes for special events since those were not easy to put on.   
When bathing Hakuyuu really did not need anyone else around. He was capable of washing himself pretty well and he wanted and needed some privacy and time to relax as well. Hakuyuu liked taking a bath. He liked the smell of the soap and the feeling of being clean. The thought that during the month he had been asleep someone undressed and washed him without his consent, without him being aware of it made him feel highly uncomfortable. Of course, everyone meant well and it was necessary, but it still left him with a feeling of uneasiness.

Discussing with Ms. Liu was useless, so he gave up. He had went to the toilet – without being watched – and now he wanted to take a bath which he was only permitted to do, if one of the nurses were with him to ensure his safety. As if he would drown. He was grown up man!  
The bath took longer than usual. Maybe because he hadn’t had taken one on his own for a month. The feeling of the warm water on his skin was great. The bath water or the soap or both – it wasn’t important anyway – smelled like lavender. Ms. Liu was with him while the younger nurse – Hakuyuu had not asked for her name or paid attention to Ms. Liu calling the other woman by name – was ordered to tidy up the prince’s room. Hakuyuu didn’t know why, since he was a very neat person and as far as he remembered his room wasn’t messy or dirty when he left it just a short while ago. 

After Hakuyuu took his bath, dressed up and went into bed again both nurses left. Before that Ms. Liu told Hakuyuu not to leave his bed without someone being at his side to help him and she told him – it sounded more like an order – to eat his breakfast. His feeling of hunger was not back yet. Still he should try to eat at least a little bit. He wanted to get better soon and join his father on the battlefield. He had wasted one whole month with sleeping, so there was a lot to catch up on.  
A knock on the door draw Hakuyuu’s attention to it. Before he could say something Hakuren already had opened the door and entered. A big smile on his face.  
“Good morning, big brother! How are you?”  
Cheerful and loud as ever.  
“I am fine. More or less … How are you?”  
More emotions wouldn’t kill Hakuyuu.  
“Better than you”, answered Hakuren while sitting down on a nearby chair ignoring his brothers annoyed look and him roll his eyes.  
“I expected that.”  
It would have been strange if Hakuren were worse than Hakuyuu. Hakuyuu was the one who just escaped death not his younger brother. One the other hand, who knew what had happened in the Empire, on the battlefield or in general to other people while the crown prince had played “Sleeping Beauty”?

Hakuren and Hakuyuu looked very much alike, but their personality were very much different. Both had short black hair, blue eyes, a mole on the right side of their chin and their thin eyebrows were split at the end. The only optical difference were their features, Hakuren’s features were softer than Hakuyuu’s. Well, and Hakuyuu was taller.   
Non optical differences existed en masse in regards to their personality. Hakuyuu was the head person, Hakuren the emotional one. Hakuren was almost always cheerful and optimistic, Hakuyuu was stern, realistic with a tendency to overthink things and therewith losing sight of what was in front of him and thereby turning pessimistic. Hakuyuu loved studying and was alright with all the paper work, Hakuren loved to hone his fighting skills and be outside, running around – he needed a lot of exercises to feel alive and well, sitting around for studying or work was pure hell for him. Hakuren was a talkative person, Hakuyuu was a silent person. Those were just a few differences between the brothers, but those differences also made them a good team. They knew each other well and therefore completed and could help and learn from each other. 

Besides the two princes there were also two princesses. Hakuei, the older princess, was only a little bit younger than her brothers and she set herself the goal of fighting besides them on the battlefield. She was a good fighter, but her father did not let her enter the army. However, Hakuei never had been quitter and hence Hakutoku had to deal with her demand on a daily basis when he was home. One day he would probably give in – there was no reason to not take a good fighter with him.  
The second princess so much younger than her older siblings and was relatively often sidelined by her own family. Hakuren and Hakuyuu were away from home often as well as their father. Hakuei was busy with training or studies. Gyokuen, the empress and therefor the mother of the four and Hakutoku’s wife, had a bad relationship with her youngest child. During her pregnancy she was not happy and more than once said that she did not want to have the child. After giving birth she even refused to feed the child and now she barely interacted with her daughter. No one knew what was wrong or how to help. Most of them thought it might be because of her losing her fourth child, the child born before the second princess, the one who was kidnapped and never heard of. The empress herself never said what the matter was and if someone brought the subject to her lost child she shut herself away. She had loved and still loved her third son so much and lost him so tragically. Presumably, she still had hope that he would return to her side one day, that he was fine and just got lost on his way home, that he missed her as much as she missed him, that he remembered her as much as she remembers him. 

“Man, I am so happy that you are fine again. You looked more dead than alive just yesterday. And I cannot even tell you how happy mother and father are and how horrible the last month was. No one knew what was wrong with you and no one knew what to do.”  
It must really have been a tough time for Hakuyuu’s family.   
“Do you know or have a clue what had happened?”  
A question Hakuyuu was trying to answer for himself since he woke up, but he hasn’t find an answer yet.  
“I am happy to be fine again as well. And I know that I looked and still look terrible. Where is mother right now? Honestly, I expected her to be here before everyone else.”  
“Oh, well, mother stayed with you the whole day and night since you woke up. Father brought her to bed this morning, when you were still asleep. I guess, as soon as she wakes up, she will run to your side and hold your hand and maybe feed you. Never thought that my big brother is still such a child.”  
Suddenly Hakuren started laughing.   
“She kissed you so much yesterday and called you her baby. And she hold your hand the whole time and stroke through your hair. ‘Don’t worry, my dear, mommy is here. You are save’ she said all the time. Father could stop her to get one of your old stuffed animals in the nick of time. Wonder why she didn’t try to do that before. But man that was second-hand emberessment at its finest!”  
Hakuren tried to imitate his mother’s voice but failed which made it even funnier at least for him.  
“Please tell me that it was only you and our parents who had witnessed this”, craved Hakuyuu and one could pity him if one were not like Hakuren, who was very amused about the situation. Teasing his brother was a great hobby – a hobby which involved a lot of effort since Hakuyuu was not so easy to tease. Well, Hakuyuu was easy to tease, but he was very good at hiding his emotions.   
“No, sorry, a few nurses and physicians were there as well until father sent them away.”  
After hearing that Hakuyuu wanted nothing more than to disappear and never reappear again!   
“Oh, by the way, ‘my dear’ was the most harmless mother called you. I never thought that a person is able to create so many pet names. But rest assured they were all embarrassing!”  
Hakuren just had stopped laughing only to start again. Someone seemed to have a death wish. A wish Hakuyuu would be happy to fulfill.  
“Why I am not surprised.”  
Because he knew his mother and he could understand her and her reaction, which does not change the fact that he indeed felt embarrassed and wished she wouldn’t have done what she did.   
The crown prince buried his face in his hands. Life was so cruel! What crime had he committed to be punished like this? He had been a good boy! He was polite to others, he followed the words of his parents and instructors, he respected the elders, shared with others and helped those in need of help. So, why was he punished like this? If Hakuyuu had believed in a god he probably would wonder if said god was testing him. However, Hakuyuu did not believe in a god.   
“Because she is our mother and loves us?”  
“I know that. I am happy to know that she is not afraid of showing her love for us. It is just, you know, I am a grown up man, I do not need my mother to treat me like a baby. She could have showered me with affection after everyone had left.”  
“Well, that’s life.”

To get away from the talk about what happened yesterday and therewith to get away from more embarrassment – Hakuren would tell him more anyway – Hakuyuu asked his brother, if he knew what had happened. Why had Hakuyuu slept for so long?  
“As I said before, no one knew what was wrong with you and no one knew what to do. Consequently, I don’t know what had happened or how or why. No one knows. Father said that you were suddenly gone, when one of the soldiers were looking for you to switch places –you had guarding duties or something like that – and after they were not able to find you in the fort they searched the surrounding area and finally found you in a forest near a lake. According to father you seemed unharmed. You were cold and pale and you barely had a pulse.”  
“And why was I there?”  
“How should I know? Maybe you walked there? Maybe you were kidnapped? Actually, we thought you could answer that question.”  
Hakuyuu could not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews/Comments would be very much appreciated.


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I have a ship in mind (but there a two other options), but whether this story will have a ship or not depends on what the characters do (they tend to do their own thing). [And I might also let you/the readers have a saying in it as well.]
> 
> 2\. I will try to upload a new chapter every two months.
> 
> 3\. There will be two more chapters with Hakuyuu being fine, after that the story will progress. 
> 
> 4\. What do you think about the way I write Hakuyuu and Hakuren? Any questions so far? Or critique? Or wishes?
> 
> 5\. Reviews/Comments are very much appreciated!

Hakuyuu could not remember much about the day he suddenly disappeared. He remembered that the days before were filled with rain and a lot of work. Some of the soldiers were injured while other had gotten sick because of the bad weather. Due to that the rest of them had to work more hours which caused them to lack sleep. Even as prince he could not step out of guarding duties, normally it wasn’t his job, but because of the lack of men he had to, and so he did his best, while being overly tired. The other soldiers were tired as well. The day his mysteries disappearance happened the weather got a little bit better. The rain had stopped and it wasn’t gusty anymore instead it was foggy. Hakuyuu were freezing and his tiredness was not really helpful either. He could not remember falling asleep, seeing anything strange or unnatural, being captured, leaving the fort or feeling anything strange. In his memories he could see himself making his patrol, but there were no memories of ending his duty.   
“I am sorry, Hakuren. All I can remember is me being on patrol. The next thing I can remember is waking up here. I don’t know what happened and I cannot remember anything unusual happening that day”, Hakuyuu admitted followed by a weary sigh. This situation was worrisome and made him feel highly uncomfortable.   
“Nothing to apologize for, brother. Maybe you will remember something later. For now you should focus on getting better.”  
Hakuren was always so optimistic and he was right. There was no use to wrack their heads over the past events when there were no clues. Hakuyuu had just woken up so maybe some memories would return to him over time.   
“You are probably right. Then tell me, how are the soldiers that were injured or got sick during the campaign?”  
“Fortunately, none of them died. Unfortunately, some of them are not able to serve in the army anymore. Ah … Almost forgot! When the soldiers heard that you were up again they were very happy and they hope that you will fully recover soon.”  
“Please give the soldiers my gratitude, Hakuren. I will do so myself in person as soon as I get out of this room.”  
“Will do!”

Before the two brothers could continue their conversation someone entered the room. It was their mother Gyokuen who had woken up and wasted no time to get to her son. Of course she wanted to know how Hakuyuu was doing and whether he needed something. She had been so worried about him and she still was worried. Losing one child had been too much to handle already and the thought of losing another one, well, just thinking about it broke her heart over and over again. Tears streamed down her face.   
Hakuyuu had a hard time to get free from her hug and more or less convince her that he was fine. Hakuren was not helpful at all and busier with restraining his laughter. Hakuyuu shot a “leave or die” glance at him. Hence Hakuren left his big brother and his mother alone. He had to meet with their father anyway and since Hakuyuu was not able to fulfill his duties as first prince and commander someone else had to do the work and that someone was Hakuren.   
“You are so pal, my dear. Are you sure you are alright?”, Gyokuen asked clearly concerned.   
“Yes, mother, I am sure I am alright”, Hakuyuu reassured her.  
“Has a doctor already checked on you? Have you eaten yet? Are you cold?”  
“No, no and no. Mother, please, I am fine and I can take care of myself. I am sure that a doctor will check on me as soon as one is free. And I will eat something as soon as I am feel hungry. Please, mother, believe me I am fine and there is no need for you to worry yourself so much.”  
Hakuyuu felt bad for his mother. It was obvious that she worried herself sick over him and she still was afraid that something bad might happen to him. He didn’t knew what to do or say to make her at ease. His efforts were in vain. She would never stop worrying about her children.  
“Hakuyuu, you were asleep for a month. You were hardly breathing, you were so cold. No one knew what was wrong with you and therefore no one knew how to help you. What if it happens again? How can you be sure that you are really fine now? How can I be sure that you, my son, are save now? Is it so wrong for a mother to be worried about her children? I lost one child already. There was nothing I could do about it. And there is nothing I can do now. There was nothing I could do to cure you and there is nothing I can do to make sure that you not get sick again. There is nothing you or anyone else can do. Being so helpless and useless …”  
More tears streamed down Gyokuen’s face and she started sobbing. Now it was Hakuyuu’s heart that broke. Seeing his mother in this state hurt. He could understand her, he really could. But what should he do or say? How could he make her worries to stop? She was literally worrying herself sick and that wasn’t helping anyone.  
Hakuyuu hugged his mother and tenderly stroke her back. It quite took her awhile until she stopped crying.   
“You should rest, mother, or you might get sick yourself”, recommended Hakuyuu and smiled softly at her. She was a really kind and lovely mother who would do everything for her children – only her last child was an exception and no one knew why or how to change that, because it was not her nature – so seeing her suffering was hard to handle. He could remember her being there for him whenever he needed someone to take care of him. Thankfully, she was agreeing with him – after a longer discussion and Hakuyuu constantly repeating that he was fine – and left him after she showered him with kisses, hugs, the reassurance that she loved him and that he should get better soon. As much as Hakuyuu loved his mother and could understand her, he was very happy when he was alone again. He had to admit that he was not good with emotions. One of his flaws was to overthink things and so he often ended up with saying the wrong things or coming of as heartless when he actually cared but just did not know how to express it.

Hakuyuu got a few more guests. First a doctor came and made a checkup on him, after that his father visit him. Hakutoku did not stay long and only asked how his son was and told him to get better soon. After his father his two little sisters paid him a visit. Hakuei had made some cookies which he told her he would eat later – a lie. His other sister had drawn a picture for him. It was a picture of the whole family, excluding their cousins, their aunts and his uncle as well as her third older brother who she had never met and would probably never met. His youngest sister also told him what he had missed and how worried everyone had been – nothing new.   
Since there was not much to do for the two young girl they left soon – actually it was his youngest sister that was bored soon and wanted to leave and Hakuei was in charge of watching after the little girl. 

His feeling of hunger finally returned so he ate the breakfast the nurse, who had been with Ms. Liu, had brought. It tasted good. When he was done he laid down for a bit. Even though he had just agreed with his brother Hakuren that he should not try too hard to remember what happened in the fort, but not knowing made him feel restless. He needed to know what happened! What if he really had been kidnapped? That would mean that an enemy had been able to enter the fort without being noticed, defeat him, get out of the fort with him on the back without being notice and then laid him into the forest, where some wild animal theoretically could have eaten him, without hurting him. Why would someone kidnap an enemy without hurting that person and just put the person in a forest near the place the person was kidnapped from? Wasn’t kidnapping for extortion? And if he wasn’t hurt then why did he almost had no pulse? And why was he so pal? It made no sense at all! His head started to hurt. Great! In addition to his headache Hakuyuu also heard a sound which he would describe as voices, but he wasn’t so sure. He could not understand what those “voices” were saying or whether they belong to a woman or man or a child or an adult. It was like a babel of voices. In the end it did not matter what it was exactly all that matter was the fact that his head hurt, that he heard something strange and that his body got hot – maybe he got a fever. He felt terrible.  
At some point Hakuyuu felt asleep.


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review, in case you liked it!

The time past and Hakuyuu slowly got better. Still his father did not allow him to get back to his duties as commander, so all that was left for Hakuyuu to do was the paper work. As crown prince and therewith as future emperor he also had to take care of that. The battlefield was not his only “job”. He didn’t mind paper work, it was just frustrating to still be viewed as fragile and not resilient. He was fine again, just the headaches were still there, but he never mentioned them to anyone less did he talk about the sounds, voices he heard. When Hakuren caught him during a moment when his head hurt so much that he thought his head would explode, he excused it with not enough sleep to Hakuren. He always had an excuse for that kind of situation. His family already worried too much about him, which he could understand. If he were in their place, he would act the same.

The good side of staying home was the time he was able to spend with his little sisters. Hakuei wanted to learn new fighting tricks from him – due to his condition, he was only allowed to explain it to her – and Hakurin wanted to play with him. She was so happy with him being around more and paying attention to him. It made him feel bad. They all knew that they should pay more attention to her, show her that she was loved and accepted, interact more with her and stop neglecting her! While Hakutoku, Hakuren and Hakuyuu always excused themselves with their work in the army and politics – an emperor and his two sons had more important things to do than to play with a little girl, even when said girl was their daughter or sister. Gyokuen, on the other hand, did not make any excuses. Everyone knew that something was wrong between her and her youngest child, but no one knew what it was. Only Hakuei took care of Hakurin. However, she also couldn’t be around Hakurin all the time and wanted to do her own things – like training to became a commander in her father’s army – from time to time.   
So, Hakuyuu interpreted his sickness as a way to make up for his past failure as a big brother. He needed a purpose, something to distract himself and yes, he was so pathetic as to use his poor little sister for that. What a horrible person he was! But a horrible person who would make someone else happy, right? He would make her happy, not said, right? Maybe he should ask his mother what her problem with Hakurin was. Maybe things between those two changes and Gyokuen would finally take care of her second daughter like she did with her other children. 

A downside of staying home was the increase in contact with his uncle Koutoku. Ever since Hakuyuu had been a child he had a problem with his only uncle. At first he had been just scared of the tall, hairy man with the scars on his face and body. Koutoku once served in the army alongside his big brother Hakutoku. Unfortunately, life didn’t meant it well with the red haired man and haunted him with one illness after the other. The scars on Koutoku’s body were battle scars, but also one’s of his many sicknesses. All the time sick in bed made the jealous, arrogant, pretentious and backstabbing man bitter and increased his negative traits more, while letting his positive sides disappear. Hakuyuu never thought highly of his uncle, never thought of him as a good and nice man. His problem with Koutoku now was the way his uncle treated others. But now his uncle sought him out more often and started conversations about everything. Hakuyuu felt uncomfortable, but didn’t want to tell Koutoku to leave him alone. However, he hoped that he did not have to suffer the same fate as his uncle in regards to illnesses.   
Lately there also were some strange and masked priests around Koutoku. According to him they helped him to recover from his lasted sickness and that they might be able to help Hakuyuu as well. The priests traveled around the world and had seen many different diseases. Maybe they knew something about what happened to Hakuyuu or what had actually happened to him. It was a nice thought that maybe someone had an explanation to what had happened, but the crown prince doubted the priests. If they would know something, they already had said so, or not?

In the end Hakuyuu was still unhappy with saying at home and not being able to support his people on the battlefield. Yes, the time he spent with his sisters and his mother was nice, but knowing that others were putting their lives on the line, while he was playing around did not sit well with him. Hakuren, on the other hand, was busier now, because he had to take care of Hakuyuu’s duties as well. Hence, the two brothers barely had an uninterrupted conversation. Normally, Hakuren just fill Hakuyuu in about what was said and decided during the war councils and how the soldiers were doing. Of course, he also often asked whether his brother could remember something about the cause of his mysterious sickness. Sadly, Hakuyuu did not. Another thing that made his mood worsen.

Gyokuen was worried about her oldest son as well – she already lost her youngest son – and therefore visited him every morning to ask him how he was. In the afternoon she had tea with him. Since he joined the army, he often was away, so she wanted to spend as much time as possible with him as long as she could. Hakuyuu used that time to talk with her about Hakurin and Hakuryuu – it was just casual talk and never got too deep. Hakuryuu was Gyokuen’s third son who had been kidnaped many years ago. Nobody knew who the culprit was or where they took the young boy or whether the child was still alive. It was a sensitive topic. Hakuyuu himself had been twelve years old back then, Hakuren had been ten years and still blamed himself for what had happened, even though he tried to hide this fact. Shortly after the kidnaping, Gyokuen got pregnant with Hakurin.   
The empress never got over the loss of her fourth child.  
During one of their tea breaks Hakuyuu tried to implement his plan – mission “improving Gyokuen’s relationship with Hakurin” started. At first he tried to find a natural way to lead their conversation to Hakurin, but even when he mentioned her Gyokuen would soon switch the topic. In the end he had to be blunt.  
“Mother, I would like to talk about Hakurin with you.”  
While speaking to her he hold her hands and looked her in the eyes. He wanted to let her now that he meant it seriously. Gyokuen looked surprised and her kind smile vanished.  
“You want to talk about Hakurin? Why? Has she done something to you?”  
Her expression changed from surprised to a mix of worry and anger.  
“No, she was as lovely and nice as always to me. She is a good girl.”  
Hakuyuu went silent and thought about his next words. He wasn’t prepared at all. Just jumping into the topic head first was definitely the worst idea he ever had, but even a smart person like him was not always smart.  
“We are playing a lot together lately. Seems like she enjoys it much that I am home for so long and have time for her.”  
“That is great.”  
“Hakurin also talks a lot about you. She is sad that you barely have time for her, which she understands since you are the empress and you have more important things to do, but she wishes that you would spend more time with her. Hakurin really loves you.”  
“Do you want to say I am a bad mother?”  
Gyokuen freed her hands and increased the distance between them. She was angry and offended.  
“No! I don’t want to say that! You’re a great mother.”  
She really was, at least for Hakuren, Hakuei and him – and she had been one for Hakuryuu as well.   
“Hakurin loves you and all she want is to spend more time with you. Father, Hakuren and I are barely at home and when we are, we spend our time with other things. We are the bad ones, not you.”  
Hakuyuu was unprepared and had no clue what to say or how to get his point across – what was his point anyway? That she did not care at all about Hakurin. That Hakurin needed her mother. That no one understood what was wrong. That she indeed was a bad mother towards Hakurin. If he only wouldn’t lack the words to tell her that.   
“It is just … when I think about how much time you had spent with us, with Hakuei, Hakuren and me, I wonder why you don’t do the same with Hakurin. We all could understand that the loss of Hakuryuu took a great toll on you and that you could not feel happiness for being pregnant again, but that was eight years ago …”  
“Why do you involve Hakuryuu in this? He has nothing to do with it! Hakuryuu is Hakuryuu and no one can replace him! Why can you and your father not understand this? I never wanted Hakurin, but your father wanted another child to replace the lost one! And now you all want to accuse me of being a bad mother? How dare you! I have no business with that girl! Go to your father and complain to him not spending time with his daughter!”  
Gyokuen was furious! Not even once in all his life had Hakuyuu seen his mother what angry. Never had she shouted at him. Never had she looked so mad. She looked like she was about to murder someone. The empress literally jumped up from the bench and looked down on her startled son.   
“Mother … I … I am sorry. I didn’t meant to offended you or imply that you should take Hakurin as a replacement of Hakuryuu or …”  
“Tsk.”  
Gyokuen didn’t want to listen anymore, she had enough. Without paying attention to her son’s attempts to explain himself she left and thereby almost crash into her second son Hakuren, who jumped out of her way with an confused expression, since he also had never seen his mother in such a bad mood.   
How could things just gone so wrong?

Hakuren on the other had almost crashed into the bench his mother had sit on before, because instead of looking in front of him while walking, he looked after his mother. Not a wise decision.  
“What happened?”, he asked his older brother confused while sitting down.  
“Nothing. Just me, messing things up.”  
“And what are those ‘things’?”  
“I wanted to know why mother neglected Hakurin so much and I wanted to change that. Well, instead I made it worse, I guess.”  
“And where did you get the idea from that you are the right one to fix their relationship?”   
Hakuren was astonished.   
Such a sensitive topic should not be touched by Ren Hakuyuu, who was a master in choosing the wrong words at the wrong time. He knew that his brother was not heartless or anything alike, Hakuyuu was just bad with handling feelings and expressing them. Most of the time his brother had a stern expression which only disappeared around his family, so the majority of the people assumed that the crown prince was just cold.  
“Somebody had to at least try something.”  
“But that somebody is not you and should know that. Let’s hope that mother is in a better mood at dinner and that she does not meet Hakurin. I don’t think that encounter would end in a positive way.”  
Hakuyuu sighed. He messed up big time!

“Hey, no sulking! You may have failed, but that is not the end of the world. I have good news for you, so stop making such a sad face!”  
Another deep sigh from Hakuyuu. How could his brother be so happy and optimistic all the time?  
“We will soon conquer the north-east of Go. Father said since you are better now you may help us to secure the conquered land. You will be in charge of a bigger village near the border, so you do not have such a long way to travel home, in case your health gets worse.”  
“That are good news indeed. I hope you will succeed soon!”  
“Is it really that bad at home?”  
“No, but doing nothing while everyone else fights for us does not sit well with me. Also, I don’t like the increase in contact with uncle Koutoku. I have no clue, how to handle him.”  
“Poor little Hakuyuu has to talk to his uncle”, teased Hakuren with a big smirk on his face.  
“Not funny. You would feel the same in my case!”  
“Probably. However I am not in your shoes right now, so we may never know the truth.”  
“Let us hope that you will never be in my current situation.”  
The two princes talked a little bit more with each other until Hakuren had to join his father at the next war council, while Hakuyuu had to attend to his paperwork again.

Hakuyuu was looking forward to the day he was allowed to leave home and help his people to create a peaceful world. Little did he knew that said day would came so soon and even less did he knew that this day would turn into a nightmare.


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are approcheing Hakuyuu's death slowly, but steadily.
> 
> Please write a review after reading! (What do you think about the story so far? What do you think about my way of portraying Hakuyuu and Hakuren?)

It felt like an eternity, in which he hadn’t ride on a horse, had passed. When the day, which freed him from his days in the palace, came, he had a hard time to stay collected. Since he had spoken to his mother about Hakurin, she was angry and barely interacted with him. Of course, he had tried to apologize to her, but in the end he even made it worse. And here some people were wondering, why he still wasn’t married and that would probably never change, as long as he was not forced into a political marriage.  
The small breaks with his mother had given him some distance to the fact that he still was considered sick and therefore weak. It had been a nice change to the paperwork and the political talk. He hadn’t realized how much time had passed since he had joined the army. Ever since then he had barely been at home or, in the rare cases he was, he was always busy with meetings. No time for a nice tea break, no time for a longer casual conversation, no thinking about trivial matters. It had been tiring, but he hadn’t noticed it, because he had been too busy to do so. The last months had been so quiet and peaceful for him, because the battlefield was somewhere else that he had begun to think about his future. Until today he had only thought about unifying the world under one ruler and, when the time had come, to take over the throne. There were nothing else for his future. He never had thought about marriage – yes, one day it would have happened and he would have children, since this was expected of him – or any activities outside of his role as crown prince.   
He liked to go on a ride in the few times he was free. And he loved reading! From history books to novels to poetry. Novels were rare cases, because he preferred realistic stories and most available novels inside the palace were the ones for his little sister. Neither his mother nor his father were big readers – his father was only interested in books related to his function as emperor. So, novels were not his case.  
Hakuren on the other hand loved stories about monsters, heroes and the like. Sometimes Hakuyuu had the feeling that Hakuren read books to his little sisters just as an excuse to read such a story – despite no one caring about or knowing what the princes read in their spare time. It was a little bit silly, but Hakuren indeed was a little bit silly.

When his mother avoided him, Hakuyuu got even more time to think about his future and he realized how empty and one sided his life had been until today. As a child the world had been more colorful. He had accepted the lack of variety, because why not? Being an adult brought responsibilities with it. Hakuyuu was not just an adult, he was the crown prince and the future emperor, so slacking off was not an acceptable or even available option. Yet, in the last few day he had started to understand his little brother Hakuren better. How often had he criticized the younger one for having fun? An adult shouldn’t sneak out of the palace, flirt around, play around or behave like a child. Now he understood that Hakuren was just filling his life with colors. They hadn’t had much time for themselves – they had to grow up fast than other children, hence they had less time to be free. Hakuren used every second he got of the little freedom he had at hand! Hakuyuu did not. Maybe that was the reason, why Hakuren was such an optimistic, happy and nice person? Maybe that was the reason, why Hakuyuu was so withdrawn, stern, a bit pessimistic and sometimes felt sad and had the feeling that the world lacked colors? Was his sadness always been there or was it just because if the last weeks that felt like an eternity? He wasn’t sure and it did not matter now anyway. What mattered now was the fact that he finally was outside again and supporting his men in their war for peace! It felt great to be greeted by the soldiers, see them more or less fine and have a little talk with them. War was no fun, therefore it was important to make sure that normality wasn’t lost. There was nothing wrong with being happy, with having friends and enjoying their company. There was nothing wrong with not constantly looking sad or stern, just because there was a war out there – something Hakuyuu also had to remind himself of at times. And there was nothing wrong with a horse race against his brother, who was so confident in winning that seeing Hakuren’s face after losing was something to look forward to.

In the late afternoon they decided to set up camp. The soldiers knew what they had to do. Hakuyuu would share a tent with Hakuren, which wasn’t quite so pleasant, since the later one snored! Hiding with a sleeping Hakuren was impossible! Fortunately, until now they hadn’t had to hide with a sleeping Hakuren. But his snoring could still lead enemies to their camp – which never happened before and the chances that something like this would ever happen were extremely small. Also, Hakuren was not the only one snoring, just the one Hakuyuu had to deal with. The best strategy was to fall asleep before Hakuren, which was pretty easy, since the other one went to bed relatively late, while Hakuyuu preferred it to go to sleep at a reasonable hour. He was also someone who woke up early, he did not mind this at all, because that way he could take his sweet time with getting out of bed and enjoy the silence until Hakuren, who liked to sleep in, woke up. The younger prince was not talkative in the morning, but somewhat clingy, which indeed was a bit annoying. Hakuyuu was not a person, who enjoyed too much intimacy – at least not in public. This was probably all because he was unsure how to handle people that were close to him, since did not want to hurt their feelings. Hakurin was the only one still allowed to show public affection, simply because she was still so young. However, she already knew that it was better to only hold hands with her family members at political occasions.

While everyone was busy with preparing the camp, Hakuyuu took a little walk around. No one let him help with the work anyway. He had to be easy on himself! This time he did not mind it. Maybe because the thought of being surrendered by a bunch of over worried soldiers, while trying to get work properly done, was bothersome. Taking a nice walk, on the other hand, sounded great.   
It made him feel free! Hakuyuu really had no problems with working or following rules, he just did not like it, when it was forced upon him due to prejudice, wrong assumptions or to control and manipulate him.

The camp was on a field without any hiding option. Everyone would be able to see and attack them, but there was no other place for them to go. If he remembered the map correctly, the next village would still be a few days away and it was pretty small, so they had to set up camp anyway. Most of them would prefer a real bed and a solid roof over their heads. Camping was definitely something he hadn’t missed at all! It was rather uncomfortable! However, sitting together at the camp fire and listen to the stories of the others was indeed nice. He never had a story to share, but the others had a lot. Hopefully the food would be great this time. Depending on who was in charge of cooking, the meals ranged from eatable to deadly poisonous. Obviously no one had died due to such food until now. The two princes never had been in charge of cooking, because they were first of all too busy with more important things and secondly they were princes. That knowing how to cook was never bad and a very important survival skill seemed not to have ever crossed anyone’s mind.   
So far, Hakuyuu had not seen anything unusual around their camp and he doubted that anyone were near. Of course, there was never a 100 % guarantee that no bandits or alike were around. Those kind was good at hiding, even in territories that barley provided any hiding spots and there were slave trades that took anything and anyone they could lay hands on. Well, such a bunch would probably not try to mess with an army of the Kou Empire. Enslaving a prince would bring a fortune of money, but was not worth it considering the trouble such an act would inevitably bring with it. The question now was, how things in regards to wild animals were. Hakuyuu hadn’t seen much. Birds and insects, but nothing more. It was a bit strange. On the contrary, animals probably avoided human routes. Humans were dangerous for them and the world was wide, so they probably had better places to be than near a camp. Not that Hakuyuu never had encountered a wolf or even a bear – or any other wild animal –, while camping. It was just a rare case. Maybe he never had camped at the right places or always had camped at the right places and therefore was lucky enough to not encounter wild animals that wanted him dead. Thinking about it now, most of the time his people had the luck to either find a city or a fort to rest in. Such places were much safer than an open field. However, Hakuyuu paid more attention to the scenery than anything else. His mind was not really up for “complicated” thinking now. The sun had begun to set and the mild wind played with the verdurous grass. Normally one would feel at peace at this moment. Unfortunately, Hakuyuu was not allowed to feel that way. When he look in the distant towards his goal, he felt uneasy. A mix of guilt, sadness and something one could describe as some kind of presentiment raised in his chest. He felt tiered, he felt like he had forgotten something important, as if he had forgotten someone important, he felt heavy. It was an uneasy feeling that he could not put into words entirely and to be honest, he did want to even think about it much. So, he brushed that feeling aside as good as he could. Focusing on something else might help to forget his discomfort. 

A distraction came in form of Hakuren, who more or less jumped at him with a big smile on his face.  
“Why do you look so angry?”, he asked.  
“I do not. I was looking at the sunset”, Hakuyuu explained, fully knowing that he looking at the sunset did not automatically excluded the possibility of having an angry expression.  
“Yeah, I figured that much out by myself. That was also the reason why I am wondering, why you look so angry. A sunset is something beautiful and nice, nothing to be angry about.”  
Hakuyuu was not angry, not at the sun or the sunset nor angry with anyone or anything.  
“I was in thoughts. Maybe I looked angry because of that.”  
“And what did you thought about?”  
Well, that was a good question.  
“About everything.”  
A standard answer. A dissatisfying answer.  
“I see.”  
A short moment of silence followed. Hakuren looked at the sunset, his hands behind his head and a content smile on his lips.  
“One day the sun will set and raise the next day in a world free of war. Isn’t that great? One day the sun will set in a world filled with war for the last time and rise into a world to shine upon everyone!”  
The sun was already shining upon everyone, but Hakuyuu understood what Hakuren intended to say.  
“Yes, one day, maybe. I wonder, if we will be able to be part of such a world.”  
“Huh? What are you talking about? Of course we will! That’s what we’re fighting for! Stop being so pessimistic all the time! There is no reason for us to not see that day happening.”  
“There are a lot of reason, why we may not see this day. One of them is the simple fact that we are mortal and one day we will die, because we’re old. You know for how long we are fighting this war against Gai and Go. And it is far from over. Do you think, unifying the rest of the world will go faster? Will be easier? Don’t fool yourself into thinking that. Maybe you’re a little bit too optimistic in this case.”  
“Man! You’re such a hand full! Well, if you are too pessimistic and I am too optimistic, we even each other out, I guess. But really, try to be more positive! You will drag everyone down with your way too serious thinking. It is not motivating at all to think that one will never see a peaceful world. And who knows, maybe after we unified the three kingdoms the rest of the world will be more peaceful and open to our goal.”  
“You’re a lost case.”  
“You too! By the way, the camp is set up and dinner is almost ready, so let’s go.”  
Without waiting for a response, Hakuren turned around and walked towards the middle of the camp, where the fire was set up and the soldiers were gathering. Everyone was hungry and dinner smelled nice!

Hakuyuu looked away from the sunset towards the camp. He was hungry as well. Just when he made his first step a cold shiver run down his body and made him stop. A whisper in his ear let him look behind his back. No one was there. Of course! Just his imagination! Maybe he should put on something warmer and go to bed early. Getting sick was undesirable after finally being well again and out on the field. 

Maybe, if he had known that his feeling of uneasiness was a warning, if he had known that the whisper was not his imagination, but a warning, maybe he had returned to the palace. On the other hand, it would not have stopped the inevitable from happening, but maybe he would have been more prepared for it – knowing that something bad was about to happen and that this meant a lot of hardship for him and his family. However, Hakuyuu did not know anything.


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soon Hakuyuu will die and then this story can move onwards. I am sorry for taking so many chapters until the real thing starts. This is the reason why there are two chapter in such a short time. I want to proceed further. If things go as planned, Hakuyuu will die in the next chapter (in case he does not, it will be the chapter after).

Dinner was great, simple but great. The soldiers had a lot of stories to tell and he listened. Some were exaggerating things a bit, but that made it even funnier, especially when they tried to top each other. It got downright ridiculous! There was no chance not to laugh about it.   
Hakuyuu stayed out of most conversations. He had nothing to add and he was distracted anyway. The uneasiness he had felt, while watching the sunset, reappeared over and over again. Sometimes he even felt like he was not sitting together with his comrades around the camp fire, but stood a few steps away from the group and was watching them with whispering in his ears, which he could not understand, because the voice was too low.  
After the shivering, which came over him at times, did not stop, Hakuryuu decided to go to bed. It had been a long day and he did not want to risk his health. Besides there was nothing he could or wanted to contribute to the conversations. Hakuren was immediately worried, but knew better than to bother his older brother with his concern. If Hakuyuu thought, it was time to rest for him, it was the best to let him go. The last Hakuren wanted was his brother to stress his health, because he thought he had to prove something. However, his worried expression was not missed by Hakuyuu, who did not comment on it though. Unfortunately, Hakuyuu could not find a restful sleep. First he laid awake for awhile, until his eyes closed, then he woke up multiple times – always with the feeling he had forgotten something or someone. At some point Hakuren had also gone to sleep and so it was hard to fall asleep again, because a certain someone was snoring. Therefore, Hakuyuu took a little midnight walk around the camp. Maybe he would get sleepy doing so.  
With a jacket in his hand, he left the tent and was greeted by a cold wind and a dark night sky full of stars. What a nice view! 

The guards greeted him as well, but did not dared to ask if something was wrong. Hakuyuu was thankful for that, since he was so sick and tired of it. The air was fresh and it smelled like rain – not so good. All they could do was to hope that it wouldn’t rain or in case it did that it was just a small shower. On the other hand, there were no clouds and rain without clouds was a bit impossible, yet the weather could easily change.   
Slightly apart from the camp Hakuyuu set down on the grass. Of course the ground was cold and the jacket he had placed between him and the grass was not enough to keep the cold off. He was freezing, but he paid no attention to it. His was confused. There was no thought he could focus on and he was so tired all of a sudden, while at the same time he could not fall asleep. If this were his first trip outside of Kou into unknown land, he would call it excitement and nervousness, but since it was not, he was unsure what was wrong with him. Maybe he was not well at all and the others were right with still pampering him. Or maybe he stressed himself too much, because he felt like he had to prove that he was indeed fine and capable of fulfilling all his former duties. There were times in his life in which he was annoyed by his own thoughts, by himself overthinking things and by always returning to the same questions and thoughts, when he could not find an answer. The last one was not unusual. When one could not find an answer to a question, it was normal to search further. However, it was not so normal to do it, when it was clear that no answer was available or even existent. Hakuyuu was a man lead by his head, not by emotions. He was praised for that, yet only listening to one’s mind and never to one’s emotions or instincts was not always the right path. Humans were flawed and so was their minds. The way information were interpreted differed from human to human and a decision based on one’s mind wasn’t automatically better than a decision made because of emotions. Still, Hakuyuu preferred it himself to be led by his mind and not his feelings – probably because he was not good with understanding his own feelings or those of others as soon as it came down things that exceeded the basic needs.

While looking in the distant, Hakuyuu nodded off very often, yet he did not return into his tent. He lacked the energy to do so and somehow he felt not like going back. The feeling of uncertainty did not go along with his wish to have things under control. Having things under control and to understand everything was important to him and everything that did not fit was highly disliked by him and needed to be eliminated in some way. However, there was no chance to eliminate his own feelings, when he did not even knew what he was feeling and where they were coming from. He was not good with all this emotional stuff, unlike Hakuren – no Hakuyuu would definitely not talk to his little brother about his feelings.   
He would stop thinking about it! Yes! He would definitely stop thinking about it right now! Or not.

“Your highness, is everything alright?”  
A soldier had approached Hakuyuu and had put a blanket around him. The sudden warmth reminded him, how cold he was. The young soldier set down next to him.  
“Yes, I am fine. Just tired, but I cannot find a restful sleep”, Hakuyuu admitted.  
“Is prince Hakuren’s snoring so bad?”  
Yes, yes it was so bad, but this time it wasn’t responsible for Hakuyuu’s lack of rest.  
“Yes, it is. However, I couldn’t rest well even before Hakuren went to bed as well. So, he is not at fault here”, Hakuyuu answered with a faint smile on his face.  
The young soldier was the closest to a friend Hakuyuu had. He had joined the army a year after Hakuyuu and more or less immediately got along with the prince. For most of the soldiers Hakuyuu was the prince first and only secondly a comrade. So, meeting and interacting with someone around his age that saw him as a comrade first and secondly as prince was a change Hakuyuu never thought he needed, but was glad about. Of course, the soldier knew and got along with Hakuren, with whom he had become friends straight away. Therefore, he was probably the only one that dared to talk with and about the princes so casually.   
“You know, while you were sick, Hakuren did not snore at all or at least barely. I guess, him snoring is a sign, whether he is deeply bothered or not.”  
Good to know, still, Hakuyuu would prefer it, when he could sleep at night.

“Say, Jian, do you and the others still see me as sick and weak?”  
A short moment of silence followed Hakuyuu’s question.  
“Um, no. It’s just your skin color that worries all of us. You’re so pale that one could think you’re a ghost. None of the physicians was able to say, what was going on with you and no one knew how you disappeared without anyone noticing. It is the whole situation and its circumstances that make everyone so worried and feel uneasy. So, do not bother yourself with thinking about what others may think or not. You know yourself the best and if you say, you are fine, then you are. Just don’t overdo it, because you think you have to prove anything.”  
Hakuyuu sighed.   
He was not one to only judge others by appearance or only define himself over it, yet he had considered himself as a good looking young man. However, whenever he looked in the mirror now and saw himself with this disgusting pale skin, he felt so ugly and uncomfortable – it was indeed a worrisome color. He had hoped that his skin would return to normal, as soon as he was better, which, unfortunately, did not happen – when one was looking at him, one could think he was indeed horrible sick, hence one could not blame them.  
“I am worried about becoming like my uncle. Getting better after being sick for a long time, just to get sick shortly after again.”  
Jian looked at him silently and then at the sky before he said: “You won’t end up like him. If this were the case, you should be sick again already, but you are not. By the way, I am sure that your uncle is not only sick, because he is an unfortunate soul, but because he is a foul man.”  
With a cheery smile Jian looked back at Hakuyuu: “You, on the other hand, are a noble man. Consequently, heaven will bestow fortune and good health upon you.”  
Hakuyuu laughed hearing that. He did not believe in heaven or gods, yet it was soothing to hear these words.  
“Well, then I hope, it will be a long life with fortune and good health.”  
“I am sure it will be!”

For a little while both said nothing and were just looking at the sky. Jian looked asquint at Hakuyuu from time to time, who still was nodding off over and over again. Carefully he placed his hand on Hakuyuu’s shoulder, wherewith he got the attention of the prince.  
“Let’s go to bed”, Jian suggested.  
“But I cannot sleep”, Hakuyuu answered, followed by a loud yawn.  
“Yeah, sure.” A soft laughter escaped Jian’s lips.  
“I feel like I’ve forgotten something. I feel uneasy. I feel as if something was wrong and amiss.”  
Another big sigh from Hakuyuu.  
“Um”, Jian closed his eyes for a short while and seemed to think about, what to answer, “Maybe the feeling of “you forgot” is more likely a feeling of “do not forget”. Maybe the feeling of uneasiness is due to not knowing, what you should not forget, due to not knowing, how to describe and word your feelings. Maybe the feeling of something being wrong or amiss is caused by the unknowingness, which makes you feel uneasy. Maybe you just overthink things. Maybe there is nothing to be worried about. Maybe you just imaging things. Or maybe not. Well, as you heard, all my sentences started with “maybe”, because there are many reason why you feel like you do. However, some answers and explanations are only found, when one is not searching for them. And, by the way, a tired mind is not the best, when searching for answers. So, let’s go to bed and rest. Tomorrow will be a long and tough day and you do not want to fall from your horse, because you have fallen asleep on it, right? And a bed is more comfortable then this hard and cold ground or the back of a horse.”  
Hakuyuu was not sure, how one could find something without searching for it, but he was too tired to start a discussion about it. Jian was right, the next day would be a long one and even when he was just sitting on a horse and hadn’t had to walk, it was still not easy. With another heavy sigh Hakuyuu agreed with Jian and tried to get up. Unfortunately, his legs refused to let him stand on his own, so Jian had to help him a little bit, when returning to his and Hakuren’s tent.  
“May you find a restful sleep now, your highness”, Jian said when he left Hakuyuu.

The next morning came sooner than Hakuyuu liked. It was the first time in a long while that Hakuyuu slept in. Actually, Hakuren woke him up when almost everything and everyone was ready to proceed forward. Of course, everyone was waiting until Hakuyuu was ready to decamp.   
Due to the short night and consequently his lack of sleep, Hakuyuu nodded off on his horse more than once. Luckily, no one suggested to take a break or delay their departure. Hakuyuu took a nap at lunch time and Hakuren watched after him, as soon as he felt asleep. The weather was pleasant – there had been a little shower last night, but it was such a small one that it was not even worth mentioning.   
The following days were better. Hakuyuu went to bed pretty early and always had a restful sleep. Besides one storm that caused damage to their small group, but they were able to fix everything at the next city, nothing bad happened to them. The delay the storm had caused was minimal, yet it was a little annoyance and Hakuyuu did not like it, when a plan could not carried out like he wanted it. However, in the big scheme of thing it was nothing grave. Delays always happened, because no one could predict the future. Hakuyuu’s discomforting feelings had vanished and only reappeared the night before reaching his goal, a conquered village in the territory of Go.

The inevitable was about to happen, which was a logical event, since otherwise it would not be inevitable. No matter whether he had stepped out of the rest house or had stayed in bed, no matter whether he had understood the whispering and the discomforting feelings of his, no matter whether what decision he had made, the day Hakuyuu had disappeared without anyone noticing had sealed his destiny. The day he had opened his eyes and headed towards the village, he had opened them for the last time as the person known as Ren Hakuyuu. Death was awaiting him with a sardonic smirk.


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, another chapter. This chapter is longer than the usual ones. Please enjoy. (I promise, soon the story get started! With all the adventures and stuff! Just a few more "boring" chapters.)

With some kind of childish excitement, Hakuyuu woke up the next day. Today was the day he would reach his destination. As far as he knew his younger cousin Kouen would be there as well. They haven’t meet each other in a long while. Hakuyuu wondered, whether Kouen had changed since their last meeting.  
After a good breakfast, the small group began to march towards the village, which would be their “home” for some time. Unfortunately, Hakuyuu was not allowed to feel good for long. The uneasiness reappeared together with the whispering and feeling of forgetting something important. On top of that his head started to hurt and the pain intensified over the course of time. He tried to hide his pain as good as he could, yet he did not miss the concerned look on his brother’s face, who stayed silent about it. There was nothing he could do anyway. Today was hot day and Hakuyuu may have not drunk enough water. A headache could have many reasons! And when they arrived at the village Hakuyuu could take a short break. Maybe his big brother’s excitement was also a reason for the headache. Many possibilities and he should just not overthink things or be overly worried. Hakuyuu was an adult!  
While Hakuren worried about Hakuyuu and overthought things, Hakuyuu himself was too busy with not showing his pain. Neither the heat nor his own annoyance over being annoyed and in pain were helpful in improve his situation. Why must his head hurt at a time like this? And why did it has to get worse the closer they got to the village? The whispering got more as well, yet he still could not understand what the voices were saying. 

Shortly after lunch time, they arrived in the village, where they were greeted by an old man with a long white beard. Ri Seiryuu was a general under Hakutoku and taught both princes a lot about fighting. Like their father, Seiryuu was a stern man that had fought many fights in his live – the scars all over his body were proof of that. Currently the general had Kouen under his wings to teach the young man, how to lead an army and be a great general and useful member of the army. Kouen had first been under Hakutoku’s direct orders, however that had changed with Hakuyuu falling sick. In retrospect, it was more like Hakuren and Hakuyuu had taken care of their younger cousin and taught him. Hakutoku only spoke a few times with his nephew about his goals, besides that he only interacted with the boy in meetings – Hakutoku had more important matters to deal with, so teaching the new soldiers was the duty of others and Kouen would not get special treatment, something not even Hakuyuu and Hakuren had gotten. Well, they had some kind of special treatment, since Hakutoku was their father and therefore would still train with them, if they demanded. It was a father’s duty to educate his children about war and fighting! How to be great men!

Hakuyuu’s leg felt like pudding, when they reached the ground. He almost had fallen over, when he got down from his horse. Fortunately, he was able to hold on to his horse, so no one would find out. However, walking with shaking feet was a bit difficult, especially when no one should figure it out. Yet, everyone already knew that he wasn’t fine, but decided to stay silent about it. Maybe the prince was fine the next day. They all were exhausted from the weather and the march.  
The village itself was in a horrible state. People were sitting in the streets with torn and dirty clothes, houses were destroyed – the rebuilding of them was already in the making – and it seemed that there were a lot of injured people – maybe there still were some dead bodies under the destroyed houses. Given the fact that Hakuyuu left the palace after the village was conquered, it was strange to find it in such a miserable state. What were the soldiers, who were deployed here, doing the whole time? Or those this mean that the village had been in a much more horrible state after being conquered? Somehow this thought rubbed him the wrong way. How did the other conquered land looked like? Was it worse than this? Whatever, right now Hakuyuu was in charge of this village and he had to make sure that the people, who live here, got treated and were provided with all necessary. Also, in case there still were people under the ruins, they had to take care of that as well. How many people had died? Were they already buried? Somehow Hakuyuu hope that this had already been dealt with. Well, there was a lot to think of and to take care of. Thinking worked better with a head, which was not in constant pain, yet his headache got worse with every passing second and the whispering intensified as well. This time he could understand a few words and the whispering could actually not be called that anymore. It was more like people were screaming at him, but it was hold of by a wall, so their voices could not reach him in full volume. He should be happy that it was like this, just imaging how it would be, if those voices would really scream at him caused him to shiver. Or was this shivering real? No, it was so hot, how could he shiver? This was something that would only happen during the cold!  
Ri Seiryuu was explaining something to Hakuren and Hakuyuu. However, Hakuyuu could not concentrated at all. His vision got blurry, the voices got louder, the pain got more and he followed the general with faltering steps. The shivering did not go away and he could feel hands grabbing him. Were those hands real or just his imagination?  
Well, he could clearly hear Hakuren’s voice, but not what was Hakuren saying or shouting.  
“I am fine”, was what he wanted to say to his younger brother, yet he was not even able to utter an understandable word.  
In his mind, he told everyone, he was fine.  
In his mind, he was still on his legs.  
In his mind, he was fine.  
On the outside he was all, but fine. Hakuren had caught Hakuyuu just before the latter could hit the ground. With the help of Jian he brought his brother into the tent, which was prepared for meetings until the village was built up again or at least had a building, which could be used. The soldiers were in an uproar. Seeing their crown prince suddenly going down like this was shocking and frightening. Seiryuu luckily had everything order control, more or less. He made sure that there was a bed for Hakuyuu and a physician was called immediately. Everyone was afraid that Hakuyuu may have gotten sick again, maybe that strange illness was worse than they had expected. What should they do? They had to inform the emperor and take the prince back to the palace. Or would everything be alright the next day? What should they do? 

*

_“Die!”_  
_“It’s all their fault!”_  
_“Avenge us!”_  
_“Help! Someone! Anyone, please help!”_  
**“They won’t forgive you!”**  
_“No! Stop this! No, no, no!”_  
_“Leave the children alone!”_  
_“Run!”_  
_“Why? What have we done?”_  
**“Will you be able to forgive yourself?”**  
_“Mommy! Mommy! Where are you? Mommy!”_  
_“It hurts!”_  
_“Stop! Please, please, please stop this madness! Please, stop!”_  
_“Take responsibility for your action!”_  
_“It’s your fault! You are responsible!”_  
**“Believe me, you won’t be able to forgive yourself!”**  
**“Will you run and hide?”**  
**“Don’t look away this time. It will be your last chance!”**

*

Hakuyuu was squirming with pain. His head and chest was hot, his body freezing. The voices of his family or the worried doctors did not reach him, yet he could hear those unknown voices in his head clearly. He wanted to ask them, what they were talking about, what they wanted him to do. No words left his mouth, exceptionally those times when he cried out in pain.  
On some days Hakuyuu did not move at all and only the constant up and down of his chest made it clear that he was still breathing. On others he was in so much pain that one may thought his head would explode. Gyokuen proverbially had worried herself sick. Every night she cried herself to sleep and as soon as she woke up again, she looked after her son, just to cry more at his side until her husband would led her back into their bedroom, so she could get some rest. Hakutoku had planned to stay in Go, yet when he heard about the condition of his oldest son, he decided that he had to go home. At the moment they were lucky that the fights had stopped. The two generals Ri Seiryuu and Shuu Kokuhyou were able to handle any upcoming matters regarding the war. It wasn’t like Hakutoku had dropped everything as soon as words about his son had reached him, but when he heard that Hakuyuu’s condition hadn’t changed in weeks, there was no reason not to go back home. Hakutoku did not felt well with a sick crown prince and a panicked empress at Rakushou. What if they were attacked? Further, even when he did not want to think about it, what if Hakuyuu died? Or felt into a coma? An event like that could cause many problems and he as emperor had to first of all prevent any intrigues that may arise due to this and secondly prepare for the sad case that Hakuyuu would really pass away or fall into a coma. His people and his family would need his support as emperor and father or husband. And he needed his people and his family to deal with the loss of another child. Well, however, it wasn’t the time to act as if everything was lost already. Things may look bad, but there was still a chance that his son would get better. Hakuyuu had won against this unknown disease once and he would win again! Hakutoku was sure of that.

During the time Hakuyuu was in the infirmary, Hakutoku ordered every available soldier, servant, magician and physician to look for a solution. What was wrong with the crown prince and how could he be healed? Whoever found the cure for Hakuyuu’s disease, would be rewarded! And a reward from the emperor was something desirable! Money and power was always a good reward and humans sought it, yet it wasn’t easily found. But probably easier than an answer to the emperor’s question.  
It had been Jian, who found a small clue, on how to help Hakuyuu. Unfortunately, the clue was so small that no one was sure, what to do. Apparently there was a country in which a prince once had died under mysterious circumstances, but came back from the dead. The problem was that no one had ever heard of the mentioned country and no one was sure as to whether his story was true or just a fairy tale. Strangely, one of the priests told Hakutoku that the story was indeed true and claimed to be the reasons, why the prince had come back to life. It was considered strange, because until now the priests had not said anything about Hakuyuu’s sickness. If they really had played a role in the cure of the other prince, then why did they not say anything? They should have known what was wrong with Hakuyuu and how to heal him, yet they had stay silent until now. Therefore, Hakutoku decided to pay no attention to the priests. However, he ordered Jian to look more into the story and the country. Hakuyuu’s condition got worse every day. 

While his father ordered others to find a cure for his brother’s condition, Hakuren tried to not freak out. Throughout his life he had found multiple ways to cope with stressful situations. During war he used training to cope. When at home and stressed because of all the meetings, he ate and slept a lot – well and trained a lot too. But in this situation he had no way to relieve his stress. His training was a complete mess, since he put so much power into his attacks, yet he was not focused and barely got a hit on his training partner. He was wasting energy, what wasn’t so bad, still it did not help him to calm down at all. Sleeping and eating wouldn’t do a thing as well, since he was too restless. Walking up and down in his room became a daily thing. Jian was busy with finding clues on the unknown country and Hakuren also tried to help, but his mind got easily distracted. Also he was worried about his little sisters. Hakuei seemed to have found someone to go to, in case she needed someone to talk to. Further, there were her studies, which kept her distracted a bit. However, Hakurin was different. The young girl wandered around the palace, searching for someone to play with. She avoided the infirmary. Probably because she was too afraid about what might await her there. Differently than everyone else she didn’t knew how to cope with this situation. What should she do? How should she feel? What was even going on? One of her big brothers was in pain, her mother was sick as well, her father was on the edge and busy, her sister was easily annoyed and spent more time with other things and her other big brother seemed to be bothered enough without her being around. She was alone and lost. So lost. The hectic and panic of the grown-ups around her, made it even worse.  
Hakuren tried to spend some time with her, but she often run away. It confused and irritated him at first, but then he thought that this behavior may be due to her thinking she was just a burden and maybe she thought she would get yelled at for being useless or in the way. Poor girl!  
It took him some tries until he finally caught her, but when he did she got snuggled until she was smiling. Playing with her distracted both of them and it was a lot of fun. He should have done so sooner. While the past couldn’t be change, he could change the future. From now on he would definitely spent more time with her, whenever he was at home!  
It took Hakurin a lot of courage to ask Hakuren about their older brother. She looked so sad, scared and unsettled. She could sometimes hear Hakuyuu’s screaming because of all the pain he was in. It scared her so much, yet she wanted to see him so badly! Tell him that she cared about him and that she loved him and that he should get better soon! However, with all the adults running around, she felt like it would be better to stay away from there, so she would not be in their way, because differently than her, they tried to help her brother. She was a bother and could do nothing for Hakuyuu.  
Hakuren took her to Hakuyuu in the end. Fortunately, it was on a day on which Hakuyuu was silent. Hakurin left one of her dolls with her brother, so he wasn’t on his own all the time. A cute gesture. 

Week after week Hakuyuu’s condition got worse. Since he barely ate anything he also got skinnier and skinnier. Horrible to look at. Hakutoku got more and more restless. The thought of losing his oldest son was nagging on him. Was there really nothing he could do? And why were the physicians so incompetent? Further, those shady priests were frequenting him more often.  
Thankfully, Jian found some information regarding the country, which prince came back from the dead. It wasn’t much and Hakutoku was unsure, whether he should believe what he had heard, but what could he lose? If this country existed indeed, then why had he never heard of it before? On the other hand, there were a lot of thing he had never heard of before. Independently, in case this country existed, why should they help another country in such a crisis? They would not gain anything from helping and it would make the Kou Empire vulnerable. Until now the emperor had done his best to keep Hakuyuu’s condition a secret from everyone outside the palace. No one was even allowed to talk about it! Enemies would take the current happenings as chance to attack or corner them. Something like this must be avoided at all costs!

Gyokuen’s condition got worse as well and Koutoku, Hakutoku’s younger brother, started to lecture him on what to do. Koutoku had many women and many children, who he did not care about. Kouen and his younger brother Koumei were raised by maids and they saw Hakutoku more as a father figure than their own one. Now it was Koutoku, who tried to tell Hakutoku that he cared too less about his oldest son, while at the same time seem to care about him the most. Hakutoku hasn’t done much to find his lost son Hakuryuu and even wanted to replace him with another child – something Hakutoku denied. Then why wasn’t he searching for his youngest son, why had he not sent out troops to gather information? Because of the war, of course! The lives of his people were more important than the life of a single child, even when this child was his own. Koutoku had just laughed at this reasoning. Then what was about Hakuyuu? Why was he more important than war? Why did Hakutoku waste so much time with finding a clue about Hakuyuu’s sickness? Strangely, why did Hakutoku not take the help of the priests, who knew what was wrong and how to help? It was obvious that Hakuyuu was more important than any other child, since he was the oldest and the most capable for the position as emperor and they all knew this. Even when Gyokuen would give birth to another child, it would be too young and it would still be Hakuren, who had the highest claim to the throne, since he was born before. Hakuyuu was important to Hakutoku, simply because of his assigned position as future emperor – Hakuyuu was nothing, but a mere tool to his father, just like everyone else. Hakutoku had no arguments against his brother’s imputation. How should he prove his feelings? He deeply care about all of his children, however he also was the emperor of a country during times of war. Many people had sacrificed everything for him, so he had to make sacrifices as well. Since he had been a child, he was told to bottle up his feelings and not let them get the best of him. This may let him appear cold, but it was for the best, right?  
Those priests were from an unknown place with an unknown goal. They haven’t done anything wrong or suspicious, yet Hakutoku could not bring himself to trust them. This was probably due to them hiding their faces and that they never said all there was to be said. He always had the feeling that there more to them and their words than they gave of.  
In the end, he may have to ask for their help anyway, because there was no other option available and Hakutoku had no intention of letting his son die without trying everything to save him. Before that he wanted to try his luck with that unknown country, which was contradiction to his reasoning and his doing until now. Kou may not be in war with this country, yet it was not a smart move to inform another kingdom about one’s struggle, especially when it was true that the priests where involved with it. What would that other country gain from helping them? Nothing! So, why should they help? And what if they were allied with enemies of the Kou Empire? They could give this highly sensitive information away. It was so unbelievable risky, yet he was willing to take that risk to save his son, while he was not ready to take the help offered by priests – at least not yet.

Writing to the ruler of an unknown country, without knowing nothing about said person or how to get the letter to them, was the strangest thing Hakutoku had ever done in his life. But what should he do? His son was in pain. At night Hakutoku could not sleep and when he was able to do, it was just for a short while – dreaming about his son dying. His crying wife was no help. Seeing her in pain, seeing her suffering hurt so much. He could also see his children suffer, but there was nothing he could do about it. This whole situation was too much for everyone!  
It had been years since Hakutoku had cried the last time, but it was impossible to not shed a tear at all of this. He did it, when no one was looking, when he was alone. Nothing was lost yet, so he would do all he could do. Only the priests were not an option for him, at least not as long as there were other options available.  
His writing was a bit unfirmed, but he did his best. Tried to explain who he was and what situation he was in, while explaining what happened to his son – which was the hardest part, since he was unsure, what exactly had happened to Hakuyuu – and state his request. Jian was the one, who was responsible to deliver the letter, despite the location of the country was “surprisingly” unknown as well. However, Jian discovered that there was a tribe at the other side of the world that is said to be allied with said country and acted as go-between between them and the rest of the world. It was risky and Hakutoku knew. Because of that he also talked with Hakuren about it, who agreed on sending the letter. Despite it just being a feeling, both were sure that the country had no tries with any other country or the priests – maybe it was just their emotions getting the best of Hakuren and Hakutoku. If they had, they would not be so unknown. They probably wanted to be for themselves and avoid any contact with outsiders. This was also a good way to prevent war. If no one knew about one, then no one would start a war! However, it raises the question, why they should help out another country with their internal, family problems.

It was quite odd for a man like Ren Hakutoku to undertake such a huge risk, yet no one said anything about it. He was the emperor after all and knew what was best for them all. Behind the emperor’s back, however, people were talking about how foolish his acting were and some speculated that he even may have lost his mind. A new emperor was needed, but who should that be? Hakuyuu seemed to be done for and Hakuren was not good enough – at least that was the opinion of most of the higher-ups. They saw the second prince more as a child than a young adult, just because he was not as stern and uptight as his older brother or father. Ignoring all of Hakuren’s achievements was easy for them, some even dared to give credit to others for what he had done. The political world was a cruel one and it was sad that a country, which wanted to unify the world under one ruler and end all wars therewith, was so split and twisted and did not even stood behind their leader wholeheartedly.  
Independently from what other thought, it was a fact that Hakutoku’s action was odd and could barely be explained by logic.  
Ren Hakuyuu suddenly disappearing, reappearing barely alive, the change of his skin color, the headache, the whispering and his sudden break down were all happenings that could barely be explained by mere logic alone either.  
Hakutoku taking a huge risk for saving his son, while refusing the help of those around him, could be, however, explained by emotions and maybe with logic as well to a certain extent. 

*

**“This is all I can do for you. Win or lose is now up to you. Do not fail me. Do not fail your people.”**

_“C’mon. Die already and stay dead. You’re such a bother. All of your kind are so bothersome.”_

**“Don’t lose! Help is on its way. Just don’t let this help be in vain!”**


	9. Chapter 8

Just the very moment he set foot onto Kou ground, it began to rain. What a great welcome. Of course, he had no umbrella with him. Fortunately, one of his servants had thought about taking one with them, when leaving their country. Well, it wasn’t like the rain would have killed him or anything, but being wet, was not so pleasant, especially when one was about to meet the ruler of another country. The first impression was extremely important!  
Since he had not informed anyone about his arrival or his intention of visiting – he had forgotten to do so – there was no welcoming committee. So much for leaving a good first impression. He was getting old or he was already old – probably the latter. Whatever it was, now he was in Kou and needed to meet the emperor – Ren Hakutoku, if he remembered correctly. Luckily a young soldier picked him up – the soldiers at the entrance of the palace must have informed the people of the palace of his arrival – and brought him into a waiting room. He did not mind waiting. A ruler always had meetings and could not be everywhere at the same time, he knew this very well. Further, he had no appointment, so he may also have to wait until tomorrow. In this case, he could use the free time to take a look around. It was his first time in Kou and until now he had only read or heard about it, consequently he never interacted with people of the country before. Which was not so surprising, since he and his kind preferred it to stay away from the rest of the world. His children had never set foot outside of the mainland their homeland was part of, which was maybe not the best for them, because it was important to have a wide horizon and such could only be gained by traveling the world – and the world was more than just their home country and the land around it. Maybe he should send them on an adventure on their own as soon as he was back home again? His son always wanted to leave home and see more of the world. On the other hand that guy was occupied with other matters right now. However, this was an issue he could think about later. Right now he should focus on the reason why he was here, despite him not knowing what exactly he should do about the country’s problem. He had no solution for them, besides waiting and hoping that it turned out to their favor. The only reason he came, although he had no way to help, was to find a clue, why this was happening to an outsider. Not only that it was an outsider, there also seemed not to be any threat that justified such an action – what was _he_ thinking? He felt somewhat betrayed. Thanks to that, they could not stay in hiding anymore – weren’t they supposed to stay away from this part of the world and keep to themselves. Imposing _his_ power upon this young man was meddling with this part of the world – what was the plan behind this? Well, if he was left out, then he could do what he thought was right and this meant to help the young boy – although there wasn’t much he could do. All he could do, was to ensure that no one was interfering and manipulating the outcome. 

Jian was overjoyed when he heard that the so called “black king” had arrived. After picking the king up and leading him into a waiting room – a servant was ordered to bring the king some refreshments –, he run to the throne room to inform the emperor about their guest. Due to his excitement, he also almost tripped over his on feet. In all honesty, he had never expected that this plan would work. An unknown country and a prince, who came back from the dead? Who would believe something like this? It was a nice story for children, but not something that happened in reality. Yet it did happened! And this meant that Hakuyuu would be fine now, right? The king knew a way to save Hakuyuu, didn’t he?  
Hakutoku was speaking with Hakuren, when Jian entered the throne room to report the arrival of their guest. Of course those two were happy as well and they would have dropped everything the very instant they received this news, if there had been anything to drop. Hearing the good news that their risk had born fruit, Hakutoku’s worries over accepting the help of the priests lessened. Since Hakuyuu had barely ate anything, the chances of him starving to death before a cure could be found were very high, so he had asked the priests to do something about it. With their magic they ensured that Hakuyuu would not starve.  
Hakutoku and his people were skeptical of the thing called “magic”. For the people of Kou only physical power counted. Magic was some weird, strange and useless. No one researched the phenomenon “magic”, because why should they waste time and money on something they did not believe in? On the contrary this also meant that they didn’t know, what magic was capable of doing or how it worked. A few times Hakutoku had seen a magician using healing magic on the soldiers and it helped, so it seemed this things was not just all talk. But how far was it able to go in this regard? Was magic really able to save someone from starving to death? If it was, they should use this information for their war. But how trustworthy was magic or a magician? Could they control someone’s mind with their power? Nevertheless, this wasn’t the point here right now! His son had survived until now and someone, who might knew, how to cure the strange illness, had arrived, this was all that mattered for now. It took a load off his mind!  
Tragically, just a second after hearing that the black king had arrived, a physician entered the room with a gloomy face. Crown prince Hakuyuu had passed away. The cause of death was unknown. While Hakutoku was lucky enough to sit on this throne upon hearing that, Hakuren was standing next to him. In retrospect Hakuren was not so sure anymore, how he was able to not fall down on his knees, he somehow managed to stand upright. Maybe because his mind rejected the newly received information? This was a lie, nothing but a big, fat, horrible and stupid lie! It couldn’t be true! But it was true, right? Why should the physician lie? “Why” was all he could ask over and over again. He had to confirm the death of Hakuyuu for his own. Maybe it was just an extremely sick joke from his brother? A stupid thought. Hakuyuu himself didn’t like jokes – Hakuren assumed it was because his big brother was bad at understanding jokes and took everything a little bit too serious. Such a man would never try to make a joke all of sudden, especially not about a sensitive topic like death, right? Forgotten were the things he had discussed with his father, forgotten was the guest, who had arrived a few minutes ago, forgotten was the happiness he just had felt a moment ago. 

When Hakuren reached Hakuyuu’s room, he needed a second to catch his breath. The nurses and doctors in the room looked all gloomy, looked like someone had died. Well, probably because someone had died! It was just Hakuren, who still was in denial. Hakuyuu wasn’t dead! There was absolutely no way that his brother was dead! The king, who had a cure for his brother, had arrived and would fix everything, so dying now was not an option. With unsteady steps Hakuren approached the bed in which his brother slept – he was sleeping, nothing more than sleeping.  
However, it was hard to deny the truth when looking right into its face. Hakuren had seen many dead people, so he knew, how it looked like, when someone was dead. But this did not mean that he accepted it.  
Hakutoku had followed his son together with the physician, who had brought the sad news to the emperor. One could see that Hakutoku was greatly affected by the death of his son, but no one said anything and Hakutoku tried his best to not give in to the urge to fall on his knees and cry. Today he lost his second son. How could he face his wife, his people or himself? How could he see himself as good emperor, when he failed protecting his family? People were certainly already talking behind his back. Life in the palace was hard and it was common knowledge that there were people, who only cared for power and were already making their schemes against him. A dead crown prince and an “incapable” replacement – Hakuren was seen as a “replacement” by some people – were good fodder for those power-hungry pretenders and intriguers. It was hard to get rid of them, because some of them indeed hold an important position in the Empire and acting against them could cause an uproar and might even led to a civil war. One shouldn’t play with fire, if one was not ready to accept the consequences. Hakutoku was ready to live with the consequences as long as it meant peace – a civil war was not peace, therefore Hakutoku accepted the pretenders and intriguers and the consequences that came with that decision.  
“Hakuren, please take care of our guest in my stead”, Hakutoku ordered his only remaining son, who followed the words of his father without asking any question, because he knew that his father needed some time for himself. The nurses and doctors left as well. 

Although he was alone, Hakutoku did not allow himself to give in to his feelings. It hurt so much to look at one’s dead child. No matter how hard he tried to deny it, Hakuyuu always had been his favorite and the one he had the deepest connection with. Not only because Hakuyuu was the oldest of his children, but also because Hakuyuu pretty soon showed interest in the business of his father and thus always asked his father for advice, private lessons in regards to fighting and political matters and was the perfect example of how a crown prince should be. Hakutoku was proud of his oldest son, who could have made it far. The death of Hakuyuu was a tragedy. He remembered, how Hakuyuu as a child was running after him, when he was on his way to his meeting. He remembered, how he had felt, when his first son had been born and when he hold the baby in his arms for the first time. He remembered, how excited Gyokuen had been, when their son said his first word. He remembered how excited he had been, when Hakuyuu called him father for the first time. He remembered Hakuyuu’s smile, whether he praised the little boy. And he remembered Hakuyuu’s first training session, first day in the army, first attendance in political meetings. Hakutoku was aware that he appeared as someone, who did not care about his children and was cold hearted, which was true to a certain extent, because as emperor one had to be cold hearted at times, but he remembered many moments of his children’s lives. Tenderly he stroked through his son’s hair. When the young man in front of him had been a child, he had done so often. Shortly before he went to bed himself, he always had looked after his children and reassured himself that they were fine – still breathing and properly covered. Nobody knew about this habit of his besides his wife, who sometimes teased him with it, just because she was able to do so – no he was not ashamed of this habit, yet it was one he didn’t want to share with others not even with his children.  
Hakutoku took a deep breath. Silent tears made their way down his face. Why was this happening? Hakuyuu had survived for so long, had fought for so long and just the very second help had arrived he died. How cruel, unreasonable and absurd. Everything had been in vain. 

After visiting his dead son, Hakutoku decided to tell his wife the horrible news. The physician, who had informed him about Hakuyuu’s death, offered to also tell the empress, however Hakutoku wanted to do this himself. Gyokuen was his wife and they had already lost one child. He wanted to be at her side, when she heard about the horrible news. Wanted to provide her the love and comfort she needed in such a situation. Whether he was able to fulfill this task was a different question, especially ever since the kidnapping of Hakuryuu and how he, according to Gyokuen, reacted – he wanted to replace his lost child with another one, ignoring his wife’s feeling or showing any love for his youngest son, because he only viewed his family as tools, according to his wife – she was very distanced towards him and they easily got into arguments. How should he prove that he cared and loved his youngest son? He had searched for the boy, but couldn’t find any clues about who the kidnapper were or where they had taken his son. There also had never been a ransom demand. Those arguments were just excuses to his wife and Hakutoku had given up on trying to prove anything, because it was useless. Still he loved her and all of their children and he was sure that it was the same for her.  
Gyokuen was making paper cranes together with Hakurin. The little girl had heard that if someone made one thousand paper cranes, a wish would be granted. She wished that her big brother would be well again soon. Unfortunately, those cranes were not able to bring back the dead – it was questionable whether they could fulfill wishes anyway, but one should not take a dream away from a small child. It never had been his intention to interfere with the dreams of his children, but now he had to destroy his youngest daughter’s dream of helping her big brother getting better. Telling one’s wife and child that a family member had died was hard. It would have been easier, if it were just an uncle, aunt or grandparent. Delivering the message of the death of a child or sibling was way harder. Gyokuen barely showed any reaction. Her tears were the only evidence that she had hear him. Hakurin on the other hand was not crying, but looked so lost and confused. Maybe her mind tried to deny the newly received information. She was young, but not dump. So she knew very well, what death meant. Further, it must be quiet shocking to see her mother crying and her father standing in the middle of the room, not saying anything and looking sad. She must feel lost and was probably waiting for her parents to comfort her. Or someone to reveal that her father just had made a bad joke. Unfortunately, Hakutoku was not capable of doing this for her – not because he didn’t want to, but because he was incapable of showing his emotions or handling other people’s emotions. No one had taught him how to comfort a child – he had even failed to comfort his wife, when she needed him the most, so why should he suddenly be able to comfort her or his daughter?  
Moreover he also had to deal with the “black king”. Hakuren was taking care of their guest, yet Hakutoku did not like the thought of not showing up, when it had been him, who had requested the visit of the other king. What kind of impression would he leave behind, if he let his emotion over his dead son get the best of him? An emperor had to stay levelheaded at all times! Before he faced his guest, he needed to get rid of his tears. 

The rain had gotten heavier and turned into a storm. The wind was wailing through the trees. Hakurin was sure that not only her family was mourning her big brother death, but also the gods were crying. She may not have an explanation, why the gods had taken away Hakuyuu from them and then cried, but she was sure that the gods were sad. Hakuyuu had been a great person, a great big brother and now he was gone. Gone way too soon.  
Her mother hadn’t stopped crying and for the first time she had seen her father shedding tears. For her parents she had acted tough. Or maybe she was just too shocked to cry or freak out. Inside of her was a storm. She wanted to cry, scream and destroy something. She was a mess and she had no words to describe, what she felt or thought. Maybe she thought nothing? Was that even possible? What an irrelevant question, but one which could distract her from thinking about Hakuyuu’s death. Did Hakuei already knew about their oldest brother? Was she alone right now, just like Hakurin? No, Hakuren was probably with her. Hakuei always had someone at her side, was never alone. Only she, Hakurin, was alone all the time. No one wanted her. Hakuyuu had surely seen her as a burden as well. And she had forced herself onto him, when he was sick. What a horrible sister she had been! Now everything was too late. She could not apologize for her misbehavior. It was her fault that her mother was so sad now. If she hadn’t bothered Hakuyuu so much, he had recovered faster and hadn’t left the palace – yes, he only left the palace without being fine again, because he wanted to get away from her. It was all her fault! Hakurin hugged her rag doll tighter. 

The day Ren Hakuyuu died, was the day the whole palace fell silent.  
The day Ren Hakuyuu died, was the day the emperor cried himself to sleep.  
The day Ren Hakuyuu died, was day the black king had arrived at the palace.


	10. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. But I had to deal with some issues like bad health, final exam and then fearing not to pass, while looking for a new job and yeah I am also busy with a bunch of Hakuryuu One Shots. However I got a lot of inspiration and motivation, so this chapter more or less wrote itself.   
> Honestly I wanted to have Hakurin and the black king to interact, but this has to wait until the next chapter. (I love Hakurin and the black king's interaction and I hope you will love it too)
> 
> I hope you will like this chapter. Please leave a review after reading, your honest opinion is very much appreciated.

The next morning started earlier than usual for everyone. Not because there was a lot to do, but because no one could sleep anymore. The night had not been restful for most. Hakutoku had barely slept and was lying wide awake in his bed next to his wife, who woke up over and over again just to cry herself into sleep again. There was nothing he could do besides holding her hand and tenderly stroking through her hair. It did not help much, but it was better than nothing, right? The only person that slept in was the newly arrived guest. No one minded this, because no one had the nerve to take care of the guest. Hakutoku wanted to stay in bed with his wife all day, but knew he had to get out soon to take care of his work – of course his work would not run away, but it also would not get fewer. The servants on the other hand were unsure what to do. All of them had their assigned duties and they did not want to neglect those duties. So who should serve the guest? Someone had to make a decision. On the other hand, with Hakuyuu’s death no one thought much about the “black king” and therefore no one made a decision.

Differently than her parents Hakurin left her bed already. She felt horrible and she still made herself responsible for Hakuyuu’s condition – which was beyond stupid, because there was absolutely nothing she had done wrong. Hakuyuu was an adult, if he had been annoyed by her, he could have said something, but he did not. And it had not been her, who caused Hakuyuu to get this strange illness. It was the illness that cause Hakuyuu’s death, not her. Yet she refused to see this and thought it was her fault. Maybe because she often had been told that it was her fault when something bad had happened. Her father got late to a meeting? It was her fault, because she had bothered him with her questions. Her father was an important and busy man, so he had no time to play with her or listen to her childish stories. Hakuren or Hakuyuu got hurt on the battlefield? Her fault, because she had kept her brothers away from training with her constant begging to play with her until those two gave in. And it was also her fault when Gyokuen did not feel well, because she was such a troublesome child. If she listened to her mother, Gyokuen would not have so much trouble.   
All of the above mentioned points were bullshit – it was a wonder that no one made her responsible for Hakuryuu being kidnapped –, but she was a child and believed what the adults said. Probably the saddest about this was the fact that no one spoke up against those ridiculous arguments. Hakutoku was too busy to care about his youngest daughter and therefore barely interacted with her. It was questionable whether he even knew about all this and how she felt. One the other hand, Gyokuen herself told her daughter that she was troublesome and was the reason for her mother to get sick. This however was something everyone knew and still no one told Hakurin otherwise. The servants stayed silent, because they had no right to speak up against the empress, however Hakutoku, Hakuyuu and Hakuren could say something, but did not. The latter two only told her that she was not at fault for them getting hurt, when she asked whether it was her fault and apologized. This was not enough, since it felt more like they only said it to make her feel better and not because it was the truth. Those who said those harmful words were nobles. They said it when Hakurin was on her own or when they thought no one could hear them, Hakurin hear them all and believed them. And now Hakuyuu was dead. He had stayed at home for so long, because he had been sick, and she had bothered him with her stories and her questions and always wanted him to play with her. If she hadn’t bothered him, he might not have left the palace or would have healed faster. He could still be alive, if she hadn’t bothered him. If she hadn’t been so selfish! It was her fault! No doubt!  
Since she had nothing to do, Hakurin decided to pay her dead brother a visited. Maybe his death was just a mistake and he was actually fine. Or all of this was just a terrible nightmare. With this hope in mind she left her bed and went into the bathroom to wash herself. After dressing up she left her room together with her plushy, which she hold very tight. The little something – no one could tell what this plushy was supposed to represent, Hakurin said it was a bunny, although it did not look like one at all – had always been at her side and it protected her from bad dreams. Unfortunately it also failed from time to time. Hakurin did not mind it, no one was perfect and she knew her little friend – she call the bunny “Uyu”, which probably came from her younger years when she tried to call her big brother Hakuyuu, but ended up with calling him “U” at first, which turned into a “U-u” later on until she finally was able to say “Hakuyuu” – tried his best and would never let her get harmed on purpose. The fantasy of a little girl could be very heart warming.

The palace was a giant place and it was easy to get lost in it. Even people, who lived in here could get lost. Although Hakurin lived here for eight years – so all her live – and still did not knew all of the places in her home. She knew how to get to her family’s bedrooms, to the infirmary, the trainings ground, the library, the main garden, the kitchen, the throne room and a few other important places, which she more or less often visited. Yet the palace had to offer even more rooms, like the chambers of the servants and the soldiers – not all soldiers lived in the palace, but those who had guard duty often spent the night there to rest up from their work or get ready for their shift. The night guards soon would switch with their comrades and go home or sleep in the rooms provided by the palace, because their way home was long and they were too tired, especially those soldiers that were from outside of the main city often stayed in the palace. The generals had their home near the palace, but also had their own private rooms inside. They should be able to do their work without much trouble and it was not seldom for the generals to stay overnight, due to all the war meetings. Hakurin was too young to understand all of this and she did not care much anyway. The adults should do whatever they thought was right. All that mattered to her was to know where she was allowed to go to and where not. Since she was a princess there were barely any places she was not allowed to go to. For example she was not allowed to go into the basement or the treasure room. Why she wasn’t allowed to go to the basement? Because the storage rooms were there, besides food or old portrays, furniture, toys and other stuff no one need anymore, but were still too good to throw away, weapons were stored there as well. One could ask, why she was not allowed to get into the rooms with the food or the old stuff, but the question was, why should she gone there? If she wanted to eat something she could go into the kitchen or order a servant to bring her something to eat – the food stored in the basement needed to be cook anyway. And why should she care for old stuff? She did not need her old clothes from the time when she was two years old and she did not know the people on the portrays and she had all the furniture that she needed already. It was obvious why she was not allowed into a room filled with weapons.   
In the end it was easier to forbid her to go to the basement in general instead of just a few rooms, since no one guarded the basement and therefore no one could control in which room she went. All of this was just for her own safety. There was another storage place for weapons, but it was near the soldier’s rooms and therefore was guarded all day, hence she was not able to sneak into said room. Although she also was not interested to do so. A few years ago she had asked her brothers to take her into the weapon storage room and after she had been there, she decided to never get near it again. Weapons were scary! And a whole room filled with them was pure horror. Those things could easily kill her! Just one of them needed to fall down for whatever reason and she might lose a limb or even die! No, she did not want to die or lose a limb! She liked her live and her body! So she stayed away even without the prohibition.  
For now she only needed to know where the infirmary was, since she wanted to visit her brother Hakuyuu there – in case he still was there.   
Contrary to her decision to go there, her body got her to the trainings ground. Maybe a part of her hoped to find Hakuyuu and Hakuren there or at least Hakuren, so they could go to Hakuyuu together. It was better, if both were on the trainings ground, because this would mean that Hakuyuu was not dead, that he was fine and all had just been a nightmare. Of course, Hakuyuu was not there and neither was Hakuren. Not a single person was on the trainings ground. The soldiers probably were also still asleep or woke up recently. The only people that were awake and already at work were the servants, who were responsible for the breakfast and cleaning – so almost every servant –, and the guards.   
Without paying attention to her surrounding she wanted to go to the infirmary for real this time. However, how could it else be, she took the wrong way and ended up somewhere unknown. She realized that she got lost, when she bumped into someone and after apologizing took a look around. The hallway she had ended up in did not look familiar to her, but the person in front of her was familiar. It was Jian. Those two had barley interacted until now, most of the time she only saw him with her brothers, but did not talk to him and the few times they interacted was basically him greeting her and she responding with a greeting. Sometimes he also ask how she was, but that’s it. Just small talk. Jian was a nice person, at least she thought that he was. Like Hakuren he was a happy young man, who most of the time had a smile on his face and was kind and nice to the people around him. Also he was a good soldier, Hakurin had heard her brothers praising him a lot. He was definitely better than Kouen, her cousin. Kouen was a scary person, always so stern, almost like Hakuyuu. The difference was just that Hakuyuu looked kind and stern, while Kouen looked scary and stern. To be honest, she was a little bit afraid of her cousin. She knew that he was not a bad guy, but it was still hard for her to approach him or not to back away from him, when they met. Hakurin could not make a judgment reading their fighting skills, but both were praised by her brothers and her father. They were probably both quite skilled. She still liked Jian more.   
“Princess? Are you alright? Are you hurt? I am sorry, I haven’t paid attention”, Jian apologized after he had turned around and saw Hakurin on the ground.  
He bend down and offered her his hand to get up on her feet again. Hakurin took his offer and thanked him for his help. He really was a nice person.   
“I am fine. What about you? Are you find as well? I am sorry for running into you”, she said.  
It really had been her fault this time. Jian had stood in the hallway with his back to the direction she was coming from and she had looked on the floor while walking, which was also the reason why she hadn’t seen him.   
“Yeah, I am fine as well. What are you doing here, princess Hakurin?”  
Jian was a friend of her brothers, so she didn’t mind it when he called her by her first name. Actually she felt more comfortable this way. Around her parents or guests he would call her by her title, just like he did with Hakuyuu and Hakuren, but right now they were alone.   
“I was on my way to Hakuyuu. But now I’m lost. Do you know, how I get to Hakuyuu? And why are you already here?”  
Hakurin knew Jian had worked until the late evening yesterday, so she thought he should still be at home and sleep or come to work later. On the other hand, Jian never missed a training session no matter how long he had stayed up the other day. This, of course, also caused problems from time to time. Once he still had been very tired and so he had almost fallen asleep doing training – if Hakuren hadn’t watched out Jian might have lost a body part back then. Men were so reckless!  
“I will bring you to him, if you want. I was on my way to Hakuren, so it’s not a problem to make a little detour”, Jian told her with a smile, “I am not already here, but still here. It got a bit late yesterday so I decided to stay overnight. I’ll go home after my shift ends today.”  
Yesterday Jian had been on guarding duties when he heard of the arrival of the “black king”. The word “happy” was not strong enough to describe what he had felt back then. Without hesitation he had informed the emperor and Hakuren about their guest, just to get his hopes crushed a few seconds later. When he had left the room, he had run into the physician, who was the lucky one to bring the message of Hakuyuu’s death to Hakutoku. The physician had told him about Hakuyuu’s death before entering the throne room. It was hard to maintain his composure, but he somehow had managed. Originally he had intended to go back to their guest and take care of him, until the emperor would arrive, but after receiving the sad news he felt so lost and empty. Instead of returning to his assigned guarding position he had sat down in the small garden near the throne room. He had heard how the massive door to the throne room was opened, he had heard footsteps and he had heard Hakutoku calling his son, but was ignored. Then everything had turned silent. His brain refused to accept the newly received information. Had all their work and hopes been for nothing? Was Hakuyuu really dead? But why should the physician lie? If it was a lie, the physician would probably be sentenced to death for this joke.

Hakuren had brought him back to reality later, by touching his shoulder. The second prince had been send away by his father and ordered to bring their guest to his appointed room. It was already late and the “black king” was probably tired after his long journey. So Hakuren took Jian with him. He didn’t want to be alone at that time, which was quite understandable. After they had taken their guest to his room, the two aimlessly walked around in the palace hallways until they reached Hakuren’s bedroom. Jian had visited the two princes in their private room before, so it was nothing new or special. While Hakuren sat down on his bed, Jian occupied the sofa. Ever since they had met up at the garden, they had not spoken with each other. What should they talk about?   
In the end it had been Hakuren, who had broken the silence between them by screaming in his pillow and afterwards complaining about how unfair all of this was. One could only agree with him. Jian had said nothing the whole time, from now and then he had nodded in agreement with Hakuren, but nothing else. Memories of the first night when they were on their way to the newly conquered little village run through his head. Maybe Hakuyuu’s uneasiness had been a sign that something was wrong, but he had acted as if it was nothing, just a feeling without a special meaning. Now Hakuyuu was dead and maybe this could have been prevented, if he had taken his friend’s feeling more serious. On the other hand, what could he have done? Tell Hakuyuu to go home? Would Hakuyuu have listened? Probably not. Tell Hakuren or another soldier about Hakuyuu’s uneasiness? And then what? Hakuren would just worry more and maybe urge Hakuyuu to go home, but in the end Hakuyuu would not have listened as well. And another soldier wouldn’t change the outcome too. Still the feeling of responsibility was nagging on him. A part of him knew he wasn’t at fault, another part of him blamed himself for the death of his friend. Out of guilt he told Hakuren about said night. Maybe he hoped Hakuren would put the blame on him or at least scream at him. He wanted someone to blame him, to give his feeling of being at fault a reason to exist, to validate it. However, Hakuren did not scream and even less blame his friend and comrade. All he did was looking sad, while clinging to his pillow.   
At some point Hakuren had fallen asleep, so Jian had left and wandered around the palace hallway on his own. His mind was occupied by the question, whether he could have done something to prevent Hakuyuu’s death or not. Obviously he couldn’t find an answer. Since it was already late Jian decided to take one of the provided bedrooms for the soldiers and slept there. His home was quite far away from the palace, because his parents owned a small farm. The area around the palace was not suited for farmers, so his family could not simply move closer to his working place – and his parents were no fans of the royal family.

Like everyone else Jian had a restless sleep and woke up early and just like Hakurin he did not want to stay in bed. So he wanted to pay Hakuren a visit and talk to him. Maybe they could find a way to help Hakuyuu? Alright, this was not only a naïve, but also stupid thought. Who would be able to bring back a dead person? No human! If there was a magic to do so, wouldn’t have the priest already told them about it? Well, probably not. Those guy had not even told them that they could use a magic to prevent Hakuyuu from starving to death and they had not said anything about Hakuyuu’s sickness, although they claimed to have helped the prince of the story to get better. It was only because Jian had mentioned the possibility of Hakuyuu starving and suggested to ask the priest for help, that they told them that there was a way to prevent this from happening. Those asshole did not care about any of the royal family members and still Koutoku hold them in high regards. Jian did not like the priests and he was not alone with that. Koutoku was seemingly the only one, who liked those creepy people.   
“If you go to Hakuren, we can go to him together and then the three of us can visit Hakuyuu. I am sure Hakuyuu would love to have the three of us around. It’s more fun!”, Hakurin suggested.   
“Sure. Let’s go.”  
Hakurin took Jian’s hand and together they made their way towards Hakuren’s bedroom. To make the way a bit more comfortable, Jian asked Hakurin a few question. Just walking at each other’s side in silence was not comfortable. During their conversation Jian also looked around. Somehow he had the feeling someone was following them and he actually sometimes saw one of the priests nearby. It was hard to tell whether it was the same person every time, because one could not see their face. Another reason why he disliked those creeps. Jian preferred it to know who he was interacting with and for that he also needed a face. But those priest neither had a name nor a face. Why was emperor Hakutoku allowing those people to stay inside the palace? Yes, they helped Koutoku to get better, whenever he was sick again, but the doctors of the palace could do that too. Maybe not as fast as the priest, but this was irrelevant, right? As long as Koutoku got well again, it did not matter how long it took? Or better said should not matter. Obviously he disliked the emperor’s younger brother as well, which was not surprising, since barely anyone like Koutoku – not even his own children liked him. Birds of a feather flock together, or so they said.


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the September chapter. Please enjoy it.  
> I have to admit that Hakurin really grow on me. And I love her interaction with the black king. There will be more cute interaction between those two in the next chapter – sadly they interactions are cuter in my head than when I write them down.   
> I am sorry for the lack of Hakuyuu and Hakuren, but those two have the whole fanfiction for themselves, so let's focus on Hakurin and the black king for a little bit longer. 
> 
> I hope you all can enjoy my OCs and the way I portray the canon characters. (And I am sorry for the slow progress.)

When Jian and Hakurin reached Hakuren’s bedroom they first hesitated. Maybe he wasn’t in a mood to talk with them about Hakuyuu. Was Hakuren even awake? The second prince, who was now the first prince, either was already awake and full of energy or he was still sleeping and wouldn’t get out of bed soon. There were only those two options. Hakurin hesitated because she wondered whether her older brother even wanted to see her. She still blamed herself for Hakuyuu’s death. Maybe Hakuren saw it the same way and was angry with her. But she also wanted to be with Hakuren. He was always so optimistic and he was also smart, so maybe he knew what to do now. Maybe he could help Hakuyuu. A very naïve and childish thought, but accepting the death of a beloved family member wasn’t easy. In the end, Jian knocked at the door and waited for a response from his friend. Sometimes when one was waiting the seconds that passed felt like minutes and the minutes like hours. This was the case here and although Jian normally was a patience person, he felt more and more uneasy with every passing second. Hakurin also didn’t like to wait any longer – they barely had waited a minute – and pushed the door to her brother’s room open. Maybe he was in the bathroom and hadn’t heard them or he was really still asleep. If he was in the bathroom, he would soon be back, Hakurin thought, and probably wouldn’t have a problem with them waiting inside his room – standing outside was not so comfortable. If he was still a sleep, they would wake him up since it was already pretty late, according to her.  
And indeed Hakuren was still in his bed, his blanket over his head, but he wasn’t asleep. He had heard the knocking, but was too lazy to response and eve less motivated to open the door. Without any warning Hakurin took the blanket from Hakuren’s head and freed her brother from it therewith. His reaction was an angry grumble and a lazy tried to get his blanket back. However, since he wasn’t successful with this he grabbed the next best thing or better said the next best person, this was Hakurin, and pulled her into a hug. She immediately snuggled against him. Hakuren was so soft and warm and he smelt so good. Hakurin only realized how cold she had been, when she was near her brother – she could hear his heart beat. Hakuyuu once had been warm too, but since he had this strange illness he was always clod as ice. Now that he was dead he would never be warm, right? If he was dead. She still refused to accept it. With tears in her eyes she hug her big brother back. In this situation Jian felt like a fish out of water. His friend probably hadn’t seen him and would probably also not care, if he did, but Jian felt uneasy seen the two siblings cuddling with each other. Maybe he should leave and come back another time or should he say something?  
“Brother Hakuren, Jian is also here. We wanted to visit Hakuyuu. Do you want to come with us?”, explained Hakurin right of the bat.  
She wanted to visit Hakuyuu as soon as possible to confirm that the news from yesterday were nothing but a lie. A long silence followed. Her brother only stroke over her head over and over again without saying anything. His heart was in pain. Hearing his little sister’s word made him realize how young she was and how lost. For her it was the first time losing someone dear to her. Until now she probably had never heard of something like death – death was just something that happened in stories, but not to the people around her. Once she had a cute little bunny, which died due to another animal. To cover this up they told her that her little bunny had gone back to his family, because they needed him and she shouldn’t be sad. Of course she had believed it. At first she had wanted to know where his family lived, luckily they somehow had managed to distract her or maybe they gave her a satisfying answer. Whatever it was, it had worked and so Hakurin had never had to deal with death before. In retrospect this might haven’t been such a good idea. Sooner or later everyone was confronted with death and it was easier to deal with it, when one already knew about it. How should he tell her that Hakuyuu was dead and would never return to them? How should he explain what death meant? How should he explain why Hakuyuu had died, when he himself didn’t know why? Slowly Hakuren sat up in his bed, Hakurin still in his arms, and looked at Jian for help. Jian also had siblings, so maybe he knew how to tell a young girl that her beloved brother would never come back. Unfortunately, Jian was just as helpless as Hakuren was. If he had known how to deal with it, how to say it, he would have done so already.  
After letting out a heavy sigh Hakuren said in a soft voice: “Hakurin, Hakuyuu is dead. That means he will not wake up from his sleep anymore. So, visiting him won’t do much. He will not know that we were there and we cannot do anything besides looking at his silent figure.”  
He hugged her a bit tighter. It had been easier with Hakuei, who already knew and understood what death meant, but she was older than Hakurin. Now that he thought about Hakuei, he wondered what his other little sister was doing. Did she need him or someone at her side? Or did she want to mourn Hakuyuu’s death alone? That girl always wanted to do things on her own and don’t be a burden to others, although in this case no one would mind her seeking help. Sometimes Hakuren wished Hakuei would not try to be so mature all the time. Not even he or Hakuyuu were like this all day long. Hakurin was different, she refused to accept reality and hoped for a miracle like a child her age would. Honestly, Hakuren was hoping for one too. Deep inside they all knew that Hakuyuu could die on the battlefield and they were prepared for that – it was acceptable and understandable –, but him dying all of a sudden because of an unknown illness was something no one had expected – they hadn’t been prepared and it was unfair. Because of his status as second prince and future advisor, he knew what his new responsibilities were, but he didn’t want them – never had wanted them in the first place. Instead he would love to have his overthinking, over worried and bickering older brother back. He already missed Hakuyuu.  
Hakurin was not happy with his response and so he freed herself from his hug – it was impressive how strong a small child like her could be and how angry.   
“How do you know that? Have to visit him already? Have you talked to him? If there was nothing we could do for Hakuyuu, Jian wouldn’t have agreed to visit him too. Jian wouldn’t lie to me!”, she shouted at her brother, while getting out of his bed and room.  
Jian could swear he had never seen an angrier little girl than the second princess at the moment. She even slammed the door shut behind her. Jian had awkwardly stood in the middle of the room the whole time. He felt sorry for Hakurin.

“Don’t you think, we should go after her?”, Jian asked. His mind told him to follow her, but his body thought otherwise. His body wanted to lay down and never get up again. It wasn’t the first time that a friend of his died. Many soldiers he was friends with had been killed in this war.   
“It’s your fault that Hakurin is angry with me and on her way to Hakuyuu. You should have told her that Hakuyuu is dead.”  
“What? Why? She wanted to visit Hakuyuu and I don’t see anything wrong with that. Alright, she may think that he is still alive or can be saved, but she is just a child. As far as I know she never had to deal with death until now.”  
Now that Jian said it out loud it sounded so strange and unreal in Hakuren’s ears. Ever since Hakurin had been born the Empire was in a war with Go and Gai. An uncountable number of soldiers and citizen had died. How can it be that she never was on a funeral until now? How can it be that she only knew about death from books? Even if there wouldn’t be a war, people died every day. Only a few months ago an old noble, who had served Hakuren’s grandfather, had died. Maybe it was because of Gyokuen? When thinking about it, Hakuren remembered that his mother never had attended a funeral since Hakuryuu had been kidnapped – they thought this may be because she may think her own son had died. Hakutoku and his two son didn’t have the time to take care of Hakurin during the funerals and Hakuei was too young to do so. So, Hakurin stay with her mother. Maybe she had asked where everyone was and Gyokuen might have explain it to her that people have died, but those soldiers were strangers to Hakurin and them being gone was nothing she would really realize. Somehow it still was strange, but it couldn’t be changed anymore. Hakuren grabbed his pillow and buried his face in it. He had faced many obstacles and had many bad days, but yesterday and even today were probably the worst he ever had and there was nothing he could do against it. Hakurin was not the only one, who wanted Hakuyuu brother back, but differently than her Hakuren knew there was no way to do so. Hope could be such a wonderful thing until it was destroyed and hurt one even more.  
Jian had finally sat down on the sofa and looked like he was about to cry. His thoughts were wandering around. It was so unbelievable. They all had done their best to find a way to save Hakuyuu and even had risked to send a letter to an unknown kingdom to get help, but in the end it was all for nothing. The black king may have arrived, but it was already too late. What should they do with the king now? Send him home? That would be rude. Well, it was not really Jian’s problem, since he was just a mere soldier, but he still worried about it.  
Therefore he asked Hakuren: “What will happen now? I mean, what will the emperor do with our guest? He came all the way here for nothing. Sending him home now would be quite rude.”  
“I don’t know. Maybe he knows what illness Hakuyuu had and how to cure or prevent it.”  
Hakuren didn’t know and he hadn’t thought about their guest until now. His mind was busy with other things.

While Jian and Hakuren talked about the black king and guessed what sickness Hakuyuu had – there was also the possibility that others already got infected with this illness –, the black king took a stroll through the palace’s hallways. At his side was a young woman dressed in black. She was not a servant, but a soldier. Her long, wavy brown hair was loosely pinned-up. She didn’t look happy. Her king on the other had seemed to enjoy his little stroll every much.   
“Don’t look so bitter”, the older man said with a smile on his face.  
He was many years older than the woman next to him. His short gray hair were combed backwards and wrinkles could be seen on his face. Further he need a cane, which was not because of his age, but due to an old wound.   
“I think, we shouldn’t walk around without any one of the servants with us.”  
“Why not?”  
For his response he only got a heavy sigh in return. No one liked it when two strangers walked around in one’s house. They could also be spies or actually enemies. They could easily sneak into a room and search for secret documents. Everyone who saw them should get suspicions! At least this was her opinion, she would never let any strange walked freely around in their palace.   
“From what I understood, the first prince died yesterday, so everyone is busy with mourning and finding out what to do now. Just image what would happen with my dear son would die. I guess, no one would care about a guest taking a stroll, am I right?”  
The young woman had to restrain herself from reminding her king that his son once indeed had died and that she actually would care about someone strolling through the palace, in case such a thing would happen again. However, sometimes it was better to stay silent and let the king believe whatever he wanted to believe. Moreover it wasn’t her problem, if the guards here were such incompetent fools – it only meant she had to look after her king even more.  
When they reached a junction her king stopped, since he was unsure where to go next. However before he could make a decision someone bumped into him. With a confused expression he looked down right into the face of a very angry eight year old girl and her plushy.  
“I am sorry, Sir. I haven’t looked where I was going. Are you alright?”, the Hakurin said looking up to the unknown man in front of her.  
She took a few steps back to see him better and because it hurt her neck to look up in such a stiff manner. The other man smiled at her kindly.   
“Don’t worry, young lady, I am fine. What about you? Did you get hurt?”  
Hakurin hadn’t got hurt, but he had been shocked that suddenly someone was there. On her way she had barely seen anyone else, a few guards and servants had been walking through the hallways, but it was way less than usual – or she had overlooked some, because she was deep in thoughts. She couldn’t understand how people could sleep so long after yesterday. What she didn’t know was everyone was awake, but lacked the energy to get up.   
“I am fine as well, Sir. What’s your name? I am Ren Hakurin, the second princess of the great Kou Empire”, she introduced herself.  
A small portion of pride was in her voice.   
“Most people around here refer to me as the black king from the black kingdom, but you can just call me Kyungsoo.”  
“Why do they call you black king, when this isn’t your name?”  
A good question.   
“Because people do not know my name and only heard about me and my country from a few scrolls. I don’t know why the person, who wrote said scrolls decided to refer to me as black king – maybe because I wear a lot of black –, but because of that everyone calls me that.”  
There was a reason, why people in his country and in the counties around to refer to him in this way, but there was no reason for this names to be written in an actually document.   
“Don’t you mind it, when people call you by a name that’s not yours?”  
She also had a nickname, but this nickname was Rin and a logical choice since her full name was Hakurin.   
“I don’t mind. Why should I? “Black king” has a nice ring to it. It gives me something mysterious and dangerous.”  
Kyungsoo laughed.   
“I wouldn’t want people to think I am dangerous. I want them to think I am a nice person.”  
“Understandable, but as king it is not bad to be feared by others, especially by your enemies.”  
“But we’re not your enemies.”  
“And you’re not afraid of me.”  
That was true, Hakurin thought about it a bit. She hadn’t been afraid of the man in front of her and she wasn’t now either. When she had heard the name for the first time she had only thought that it was a strange one, but she hadn’t been afraid of the name or the person behind it.  
Only when she thought about all this, she saw the woman, who had been silent the whole time, behind the king.   
“Who is the pretty woman behind you?” Hakurin ask the Kyungsoo, who had bend down on his knees to be eye-on-eye with her, because she was too shy to ask the woman directly.   
“Oh, that’s Hae Soon. She is my bodyguard for this trip.”  
Hae Soon smiled at the little girl. She was not good with kids. Not that she disliked them, it was just that she never knew what to do with them or what to say, so she just smiled.   
“Nice to meet you, Miss Hae Soon. I am Ren Hakurin and this little one his Uyu.”  
Hakurin hold her plushy up, so Hae Soon could see it better. The young princess really liked her stuffed animal, which couldn’t be identified as animal, but was one according to her.   
“It’s nice to meet you too, princess Hakurin and Uyu.”

Due to her conversation with the two guest, she forgot her original goal – visiting Hakuyuu. However she remembered it, when Kyungsoo asked her, where she was going to.   
“I was on my way to my big brother Hakuyuu.”  
The prince yesterday, who had brought them to their room, had introduced himself as Hakuren, so this Hakuyuu guy was probably the now dead prince. Or was there a third prince? There was only one way to confirm it!   
“Hakurin, do you think your brother would mind it, if we come with you on your visit?”  
“I don’t think so. He is a very nice person, but he sleeps a lot lately. So I think he might be happy to have a few people around. But you shouldn’t be disappointed when he does not interact much with as.”  
It was hard to wake up, when one was dead. But in Hakurin’s head Hakuyuu was still alive, so he was just sleeping.   
“Well then, let’s go.”  
Kyungsoo stood up and offered Hakurin his hand, which she took and led the way. Hae Soon followed the two without saying a word. Her job was to follow her king wherever he went and so she did. Although she questioned his decision to go with the young princess to her dead brother – had he forgotten how horrible something like this could be? His son had died once too and his youngest daughter had turned into a crying mess, when she had visit her dead brother’s body, because the king thought it was a good way for her to cope with her dear older brother’s death. Even a king could be wrong from time to time.


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter I tried to explain things a little bit. I hope, it worked.  
> By the way, I love writing Kyungsoo and Hakurin interacting with each other, but it is better in my head... I wish I were better with words and I hope, you like their interaction as well. 
> 
> Please be so kind and write a review after reading.

While Hakurin led the way to her brother’s current bedroom, she told the black king everything she knew about Hakuyuu’s illness. It wasn’t much, but she needed someone to talk about it with. Until now she had only heard others talking about it, but no one had felt the need to explain it to her. Probably because no one could explain it. The black king listen to her silently. From what she said, he was sure that this illness was not a real illness, but the doing of a certain sadistic, idiotic and annoying wannabe god, who unfortunately was very powerful. He felt like it was his duty to help those people out, but there was nothing he could do. Although his son had gone through the same – in case it really was that wannabe god’s doing – he could not do anything for Hakuyuu. The young man had to save himself, the only help the black king could provide was keeping an eye out for any disturbance and he could try to explain things to Hakuyuu’s family. Although he had the impression that the people around here did not believe in magic, but magic was a very important part in Hakuyuu’s recovery. First things first, he had to confirm whether Hakuyuu still had a chance of waking up or not. Of course there never was a hundred percent guarantee that Hakuyuu would come back to life, but he could see whether the boy was already dead – in the real sense – or not.  
The room, in which Hakurin had led him and his guard, was very cold. Someone had opened the window and hadn’t closed it again. If Hakuyuu hadn’t been dead before, he would surely be dead by now – or it was just Kyungsoo being an old man and too sensitive to the weather. The young people nowadays were all so hot blooded, a few cold temperatures wouldn’t harm them. Hakurin for example didn’t seem to notice the cold and was already arranging the chairs, so she and her new friends could sit down next to her brother’s bed. His guards also didn’t seem to mind the cold, but she also was a cold hearted person – she knew no mercy for her king –, so this kind of weather just suited her personality.   
“Hakurin, is it alright for you, if I close the window? It is really cold in here”, he asked her.  
He disliked it when people opened or closed a window without asking other’s if it was alright for them, so consequently he always asked – although he already knew the answers, at least when he was with his kids.  
“Sure, I don’t mind and Hakuyuu wouldn’t either”, Hakurin answered with a smile, while sitting down on her chair.  
Kyungsoo was very happy about her answer and without any delay he closed the window. While doing so he took a glaze outside. It was a nice view. One could see a small grassland with a few colorful flowers – only the grey wall was not so pleasant to look at. Once when he had been a child himself and had been sick, he had to look at nothing but a grey wall all day long – it had been very depressing and never in his life before had he been so happy when he finally was well again.  
“Hae Soon, Kyungsoo, you two should sit down too”, Hakurin said and offering the two empty chairs to her guests.  
Hae Soon sat down on the one at the end of the bed. At first she had not intended to do so at all, but the look of her king made her change her mind. It would have been rude towards Hakurin, if she had declined. Kyungsoo on the other hand was happy that he could sit down. Despite him loving taking strolls, he easily got tired and standing around had never been one of his favorite activities. After everyone sat down a short moment of silence followed. Hae Soon had nothing to say, Kyungsoo was busy with inspecting Hakuyuu and Hakurin was unsure what to say. Hakuyuu hadn’t moved an inch since yesterday and his chest wasn’t moving up and down anymore. Tears welled in her eyes and she pressed her plushy tighter against her chest. Before she started crying Kyungsoo placed his hand on her head and tenderly stroke over it.   
“Don’t worry Hakurin, your brother is still fine. Although he does not look like it.”  
“Are you sure? His chest is not moving like it was, when I had visit him yesterday. This is bad, isn’t it?”  
“Normally it would be bad, but you know, when someone dies then there are more signs of his death than just his chest not moving.”  
Hakurin took a closer look. Hakuyuu looked just like he had yesterday. His skin was still very pale, but she was somewhat used to it already, and cold – the same temperature as when he was still alive. One could think he may only hold his breath, because nothing else had changed.   
“Um, his heart beat! If his heart his still beating, then he his indeed fine, right? A human cannot live without his heart beating.”  
She was genius! This was the best way to proof whether her brother was dead or not!  
Without waiting for an answer Hakurin made her way on Hakuyuu’s bed, so she could check whether his heart was beating or not.  
“Under normal circumstances you would be right again”, Kyungsoo said.  
Hakurin stopped in her doing and looked at him with a disapproving expression. She was unsure whether this was a good thing or not. And how the hell should she now check, whether her brother was still alive or not, if things were different than usual? Why was this so complicated?  
“What do you mean with normal circumstances?”, she asked.   
“Well, I am sure, when you check on Hakuyuu’s heart beat you will find out that he has none. And as you said yourself, a human cannot live without a heartbeat. Consequently this would mean he is dead.”  
Kyungsoo made a short break to give Hakurin the time to process his words and ask questions, in case she already had one – children usually had a lot of questions. Hakurin on the other hand took the small break to check Hakuyuu’s heartbeat and much to her dislike there was none. So her brother could be considered dead under normal circumstances.   
“Does that mean Hakuyuu is still alive?”  
“No, he is dead. However, there is still a chance for him to come back to life. His body is still functioning, despite his heart not beating.”  
“That does not make any sense at all. Is he dead or not?”  
This was too complicated for her to understand. On the other hand, she hadn’t received an explanation yet, so maybe it wasn’t so difficult.   
“To make it simple: Yes, your brother Hakuyuu is dead. To make it complicated: He is not completely dead.”  
Hakurin disliked complicated things and preferred it to keep it simple, but this time the complicated part sounded better.   
“And that means what? How can he be dead and not dead at the same time? And how can we bring him back to life?”  
She had placed herself at the edge of the bed and directly looked Kyungsoo in the eyes.   
“The answer to your questions is complicated and involves magic, so you will not find a rational answer. Do you believe in magic, Hakurin?”  
As far as he knew, children did believe in magic, but this also depended on how they were raised and somehow he had the feeling that the people here did not believe in magic and therefore would not tell their children to believe in it. His children believed in magic and everything else would be extremely strange, because they were surrounded by it since they were born.   
“I do”, Hakurin confirmed.   
“Alright, I will try to keep the explanation as simple as possible. You probably know that humans need the heartbeat to stay alive. For example it is responsible for transport the needed blood, oxygen and energy to your brain. Your brain is needed to give your body orders what it has to do or to process information. If you brain does not receive its nutrients it will stop working sooner or later and consequently your whole body will stop working. So, if someone dies his whole body stops to work. However, as I said before, this is not the case with your brother.”  
Hakurin looked at him as if she wasn’t sure if she should believe his words or if she should call a doctor to check on him.  
“Why is this not the case for Hakuyuu?”  
“Because someone else is “commanding” your brother’s body. That someone does the work of the brain and the heart.”  
“And why does the person not let my brother’s heart and brain do the job? They have worked perfectly fine until now.”  
“Good question. Very good question. Unfortunately, I cannot give you a prober answer. I don’t know how it works. All I know it that the person is using magic to change your brother’s body to fit their needs.”  
“Who is this person and for what do they need Hakuyuu?”  
Hakurin sounded angry. Understandable, who would like to hear that someone else was messing with a loved one just to use the person for something – probably something bad!  
Kyungsoo had loved to answer with “that person is a despicable, sadistic asshole, who hopefully dies soon”, but this would raise more question than it would answer, so he stayed silent. Another problem was that he did not know what that person wanted to do with Hakuyuu. To be honest, there was only one reason, why that person would actively do such a thing, but there was no need for it.   
“I am very sorry, but I cannot answer your question, because I do not know the answer myself. In my country it does sometimes happen that someone, who had died comes back from the dead. Your father probably heard of the story of my son. My son was an expectation, because normally it’s only babies, who were born dead that returned. This happens because of said person, so they can find a suited replacement, in case something happens to their current body. For my people it is an honor to be selected as next vessel, but I don’t think this is the case with your brother, since that person already has a suitable vessel.”  
“Who is that person?”  
“My people refer to that person as God.”  
A stupid, but loved god.   
“Shouldn’t a god be merciful towards humans? Why does he kill my brother?”  
Kyungsoo had to laugh about Hakurin’s naivety. Gods and merciful towards humans, as if. Gods were the cruelest creatures out there.   
“Gods are not merciful with humans. They are cruel and unforgiving. For them humans are nothing but toys, with which they play when they are bored. I guess this is the case with your brother. I don’t see a reason, why the god should kill your brother. Maybe in the future there will be something happening for which that person needs Hakuyuu, but I cannot say for sure, because I don’t know the future.”  
Silence followed his words. The little girl had to process the newly received information. To her everything sounded strange and like a story made up to suit her. Her gaze shifted from the man in front of her to her own feet that were dangling in the air. So, her brother was dead, because of a god, who seemingly had no reason to kill her brother. Because of that god her brother was dead and not dead at the same time, which meant he still had a chance to come back from the dead somehow.   
“What if my brother comes back from the dead?”  
He wouldn’t be the same anymore, because the god had changed something inside of him, something about him. What kind of change was it?  
“Well, then he is alive again and everything is fine.”  
Not a satisfying answer, but this was probably everything she would get. Sulking she wanted to get down from her brother’s bed. This was all so stupid.

Helplessly Kyungsoo looked at Hae Soon. He wasn’t sure what to do now. It was obvious that Hakurin was more lost than before. It would have probably been better for her, if Hakuyuu was simply dead. Something like this was easier to understand and accept that his lukewarm explanation, which could not even be considered one. The problem in all of this was simply that Kyungsoo himself didn’t understand what was going on. This kind of thing happened in his country and many scientists had already tried to explain it, but until now they hadn’t come to a satisfying result. He and his people had accepted things the way they were, but for the people of this country it was a totally different matter. For them death was the end of life and there was no returning. This might also be the reason, why the emperor had not approached him by now – Hakutoku probably did not believe in returning from the dead, which was not surprising, since it really sounded more like a dream than reality.  
Kyungsoo helped Hakurin down on the floor, where she stood looking helplessly up to him, just like he had looked at Hae Soon just a second ago. And just like his guard he could only remained silent. Hakurin had placed her hand on Kyungsoo’s trouser and played with the fabric a bit.   
“Why did your son die? And how did he return? What can Hakuyuu do to return?”  
There was no chance she was giving up on her brother.   
“Alright, now I feel stupid, because I have to answer with “I don’t know” again. I think he did it to save my son’s soul. Honestly, I have never asked myself, why it had happened. I have just accepted this little wonder.”  
“You really don’t know anything. How are you supposed to help us, if you don’t know anything at all! That’s stupid.”  
Hakurin was sulking again.   
“I am sorry, Hakurin. I wish I could be more help to you, but sometimes it is better to accept the things the way they are and not ask question. One does not have to understand everything.”  
With a soft smile he placed Hakurin on his lap, who looked at him skeptically. She probably thought he was using an excuse for his nescience.  
“Back then, when my son died, there was a war going on in my country. My son had been one of the many, many victims the war had claimed. I was so happy, when he finally returned from his imprisonment. Years before he returned he had been kidnapped by the enemy. He never told me, what had happened to him during this time and maybe it is better not to speak or think about it anymore. All I know is that he looked more dead than alive, when he returned home. So, when he died we all thought it was due to his injuries. That he might have died because of the god, was a thought I only had years after, but still I did not ask why. Maybe because a part of me still fears losing him again?”  
Kyungsoo didn’t like to think about the time his son had been dead. Although it had been only a few days, those days had been the worst of his live – and he had had a lot of bad days.   
“When he came back to life he told me that for him everything felt like a dream. There had been a voice, which he had followed for a long time. This voice was telling him a lot of things and at first he hadn’t responded, but later on he would give his opinion or ask questions. At the end of their conversation, the voice said that he now needed to wake up again and this was what he was doing. For him it was waking up, for us it was coming back from the dead. Maybe your brother is also talking to a voice right now. Maybe he will soon wake up.”  
“Does the voice belong to the god, who killed Hakuyuu?”  
“No, I don’t think so. Of course, it could be that the voice my son had heard and the voice your brother hears are different ones, but from what my son told me, the voice was a nice one. It sounded like a curious little kid, asking others about the world. That god is not a kid nor is he curious about anything. His voice is not a pleasant one.”  
“Is there something I can do to help Hakuyuu getting better?”  
“No, not really. But you can make sure that no one is interrupting him getting better. When you led as here, I saw some strange people, who hid their faces behind a mask or some white clothes. You should make sure that they stay away from your brother. They are up to no good.”  
“I understand. But those people already were near my brother. My uncle had brought them with him one day and since then they are here. When Hakuyuu was still alive they had used their magic to make sure he does not starve.”  
“Don’t worry about that. As long as they do not get near him now, everything is fine.”  
“Will you help me?”  
“Sure. And Hae Soon will help as well. Am I right, Hae Soon?”  
While Kyungsoo smile at Hae Soon, she looked at him as if she was about to commit murder. She was here to protect her king, not some little dead princeling. But what could she do? If the king ordered her to protect the prince, she would protect the prince.  
“Yes, you are right, my king. I will help protecting prince Hakuyuu from the masked people as well”, she said in her sweetest voice, trying to hid her disapproval. She was in no position to stand up against her king’s orders – even when said orders are not worded like ones.


	13. Chapter 12.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first part of the new chapter. Since the chapter is quite long, I decided to split it into two parts.  
> 1\. Do you wish to have split chapters, in case a chapter is longer than 5000 words, or do you want to read it as one chapter?  
> 2\. What do you think about the OCs?  
> 3\. Is there a specific viewpoint you want to read about, before you have to stick to Hakuyuu and Hakuren for the rest of the story?  
> 4\. Any critic you want to give me? Any wishes?
> 
> I hope you can enjoy this chapter. The next part will soon follow.

Hakutoku had lived for many years now, but never before had he felt so miserable. He wasn’t sure how he even had managed to get out of bed – Gyokuen was still there crying. At the moment he was on his way to a meeting, which was called in because of Hakuyuu’s death. Some of the older nobles were worried about the empires future – or so they said. It was obvious that they only cared about themselves and their position. Hakuren would be a good emperor, Hakutoku was sure of that, but unfortunately many nobles were not happy with him. Hakuyuu was an extremely serious person, which resulted in him being unable to tell when someone made a joke. Also he was very smart and curious, so he was willing to learn new things, which was a good thing, since one always had to learn and improve. Ever since Hakuyuu was born people expected great things from him. Everyone was sure that he would sit on the throne one day, they were fine with that. Now everything had changed, their ideal king candidate had died suddenly and left them with his younger brother, who never had the chance to prove how great he was on his own. Because of his more laid-back nature and optimistic thinking, Hakuren was looked down upon. A ruler had to be realistic and not hope for the best! A ruler had to take everything serious and not lazy around or postpone his duties. When one gave Hakuyuu and Hakuren some paperwork, Hakuyuu would immediately start taking care of it, while Hakuren would let it be until the day he had to finish them. However, in the end Hakuren would do his work, just a little bit later than his older brother. This was nothing bad in Hakutoku’s eyes. Of course, he wished Hakuren would take things more serious, but as long as the work was done and correct he saw no reason to complain. Maybe this was because he was Hakuren’s father, since the other nobles seemed to think such a behavior was inexcusable and would make Hakuren a bad candidate for the throne. How stupid! Hakuyuu and Hakuren were quite different in their behavior, but they both shared their love and loyalty towards their family and empire. Hakutoku was sure, that no matter what, Hakuren would do everything for the empire – even giving up on his laid-back lifestyle. But for now he had to endure the gibberish of those old nobles and there still was their royal guest. Instead of this superfluous meeting he should meet with their guest and apologize for calling him here and send him away straight away. It really was a tragic coincidence that Hakuyuu died, when the other king arrived. At the moment Hakutoku regretted to have written the letter to the other king. With it he had made the empire vulnerable and in the end it was for nothing.

Inside the palace were different meeting rooms, depending on the reason for the meeting. For example there was a very spacious room next to one of the many libraries for the war meetings, because it there was enough place for all the maps and the many people, who were involved. Also when they needed to look something up – for example about a certain region – they could go into the library – the two rooms were connected with a door – and get a scroll, which would contain the needed information. It saved time! For a smaller meeting like this one, it was enough to have a small room, which was near the emperor’s work place – so he didn’t have such a long way back after the meeting ended. Also it was quite convenient when an emergency meeting was called in, since he also only had to make a few steps to reach the room.  
Inside said room it was already quite noisy. Hakutoku was the last person to arrive to the meeting and everyone else was already discussion with each other. When seeing this Hakutoku could only sigh and shake his head. He knew that not everyone here was loyal towards him and his family, actually most of them were only interested in their own wealth and strived for power. Unfortunately, he couldn’t just throw those people out, since they all held an important position and going against them could cause a civil war. It was not impossible to get rid of them, but it was a long and exhausting process. And as soon one was gone, there was already another one to fill in the place. Sometimes he wondered whether he was the same as them. It was easy to see the bad sides of another person, while it was easy to overlook your own. Without saying a word Hakutoku walked up to the other side of the room and sat down at the table. Shortly after the noisy died out and the nobles also sat down. No one said anything for a minute or two, because they expected the emperor to speak first. However, the emperor had no intention of saying anything, because there was nothing he had to say. It was them, who had wanted this meeting – bothering him with it right after he had left Hakuyuu’s deathbed –, so they should say whatever they felt was needed to be said. Usually the order of the nobles was decided by their position and importance, today this was a little bit different. Only the oldest demanded their “assigned” place, while the rest sat down whether they wanted. It was obvious that they had group together. Those who thought Hakuren should be the next emperor sat on one side and those who thought it was better to give the throne to someone else – in most cases it was either themselves or one of their sons – sat on the other side. There were a few exceptions. One of those exceptions was the young woman right next to him on the right side. Some saw it as an offence that she was allowed to sit this close to the emperor. This place was supposed for the most influential nobles and not for a woman of low birth. Her father was indeed a very influential man and had a good reputation, but his second daughter was the child of him and a commoner – some even said she had been a prostitute – therefore she was looked down upon. Being a woman and being a bastard was not favorable. The reason she was allowed to sit next to Hakutoku, was his high opinion of her. Despite all the odds against her, she managed to draw attention to her political skills. She was quite smart and was a fast learner. At first there had been rumors that Hakutoku was interested in the young woman – when he recognized her she was nothing but a mere child – and some even went as far as to say that he and she had an affair. The drama he had with Gyokuen was only topped by Hakuryuu’s abduction. However, this were nothing but rumors, however he indeed had the intention of marrying her to Hakuyuu. He had already talked with her father about it and the other man also had approved – who wouldn’t have? The own child marrying a prince, the future emperor at that, meant more power and influence. No one would let this opportunity go. To not make things harder for her, the two men had decided to keep the engagement a secret. If words were loud that she was engaged to Hakuyuu, people would accuse her of taking advantage of the royal family and that she only had her position because of the emperor’s favor, which was not true at all. She had worked hard for what she had now. Not even her father had given her any support, but now he was suddenly proud of her.  
Usually when two nobles decided to have their children marry each other, the engagement was announced to everyone – this was to ensure that no one could back out of it all of a sudden – and sometimes even a contract was made. The latter was the case in the engagement of Hakuyuu and Fei Lien. Since Hakutoku didn’t want to announce the engagement for Lien’s own good, her father wanted a contract to be on the save side. Of course there was nothing he could do in case Hakutoku changed his mind, but without any serious grounds the emperor would throw shades at himself. Serious grounds were for example the death of one of the two or when the marriage with another princess was necessary for protecting the country. The first example was the case here, and honestly, even if Hakutoku hadn’t liked Lien and the idea of Hakuyuu marrying her, he would have preferred his son to be alive and marry her than Hakuyuu being dead.  
Although there was the option of her marrying Hakuren, Hakutoku hadn’t thought of this yet and if one asked him, Lien and Hakuren wouldn’t fit each other. In his opinion Lien and Hakuyuu would be a great couple, because they completed each other and therefore would bring out the best in the other one, which would be beneficial for the empire and its growth. Lien was smart, well-mannered, loyal, ambitious, had a curious side and because her mother was a commoner, a marriage would have sent a signal to the citizen that their social status did not matter in the empire, because they all were equal. Yes, a marriage between Fei Lien and Hakuyuu would have been the best! Sadly this wasn’t possible anymore.

The one who broke the silence was a young man three heads away from Hakutoku on the left side. He had taken over his father’s place. It was a good thing to also have young people in his inner circle. Young people could bring new ideas and cause improvement.  
“Your majesty, we all are sorry for your loss. The crown prince was dear to us all, but we must clear, who will succeed you, when the time has come.”  
It seemed like the man wanted to say more, but bit his tongue. It was true that Hakutoku wasn’t young anymore and he even tried to stay away from the battlefield as much as he could, because he was too old for this, and sooner or later he also wouldn’t be able to fulfill his role anymore. His eyes had gotten worse the last few years and he wasn’t as fast as before. Furthermore, he also didn’t want to rule any longer. His time was over. With barely twelve years Hakutoku had to take care of the empire, because his father had died. Until he was considered an adult, it was the council that ruled, but he was the person, who had to stand in front of the people. Now, many years later, it was time for his son to take over the responsibilities of emperor. His original intention was to give the crown to Hakuyuu after they conquered the main city of Gai. If things had went as plan, this would have probably been at the end of the year. So the empire would start into the next year with a new emperor. The plan was now in ruin. And although Hakuren could easily take over his brother’s role, there was still time needed to get over their loss and for the nobles to accept Hakuren as the new crown prince. This was very important, because in case they were dissatisfied there was the chance of them rebelling against the crown. Nobles were quite wicked people.  
“There is nothing to discuss about. Hakuren will be the next emperor. He is my only son now. So who else could take the responsibility of ruling upon themselves? Hakuei and Hakurin are way too young for such a thing and both are girls. Hakuryuu was kidnapped a long time ago and is probably dead and last but not least Hakuyuu is dead. However, you all should know this already.”  
Until now Hakutoku had never paid much attention to the other man. There was nothing remarkable about the young noble – he looked like his father and shared the same views on matters.  
“Prince Hakuren is a fine young man, but he doesn’t fit the throne. He is too laid-back and lazy to be a great and strong ruler. Until now he had never shown any interest in politics, actually he always seemed quite bored when attending our meetings, if he attended them. Someone like that is not suited to rule an empire.”  
“Your name was Mao Yazhen, if I remember correctly. You only joint us a few months ago, so I think that you may not know how often Hakuren really had attended a meeting. Hakuren attended as many meeting as Hakuyuu did. Furthermore, please don’t forget that Hakuren is also responsible for the army. Sometimes his duties there interferes with the meetings and he needs to make a decision. There is nothing wrong with prioritizing his military duties, especially when he thought that Hakuyuu would be the next emperor. Hakuren will be my successor.”  
With this things could have been done, but unfortunately it wasn’t. After Hakutoku finished his last sentence, Yazhen tried to convince him again and explain to him, why Hakuren was not suited. It was obvious what those nobles had in mind. They could become the emperor either by marrying a princess, but for this there shouldn’t be a male hire around anymore, or by being crowned emperor by the previous one – well they also could start a war, but this was always a very risky thing. So they wanted to make Hakuren look bad in his father’s eyes, so he decided to give the throne to one of them. If one of them would marry Hakuei, the first princess, there would still be Hakuren, whose right to the throne would be higher than theirs. So, it was saver to become emperor by being crowned the next ruler by the previous one. Hakutoku had no intention of doing so. This meeting was just a waste of time, but there was nothing he could do. The nobles wanted to talk, now they had talked and so Hakutoku thought this was over. Obviously this wasn’t the case. Yazhen tried to convince him that Hakuren was unfitting for the throne and was supported by a bunch of other nobles. Hakutoku didn’t say anything anymore and so those, who were on Hakuren’s side, saw it as their duty to defend the second born prince. It became quite noisy again. Normally when Hakutoku said the discussion was over, the discussion was over, but today was different. It even seemed like the nobles had forgotten about him. He didn’t mind it that much. They could talk as much as they wanted, his decision was made and he would make sure that they would change their minds as well.

“Your majesty, I think there is no need for you to waste your precious time here.”  
Fei Lien had leant forward and spoke to him in a soft voice, so that the other nobles wouldn’t hear her. Although this was probably not necessary, since everyone else seemed quite busy with their very loud discussion whether Hakuren was suited for the position as emperor or not.  
“Lien, be honest, do you think Hakuren will be a good emperor or do you think someone else should be my successor?”, Hakutoku, who was one of the few people that called her by her first name, asked.  
When he already had wasted his time with showing up here, he should at least try to get an honest and valuable opinion. All the other men inside the room were only interested in their own wealth and power, however Lien was fine with what she had. The well-being of the citizen and the empire in itself were more important to her than her status or money. She wasn’t corrupted yet.  
Lien leant back again, her head title down, the index finger of her right hand on her chin and the left on her right elbow. Her light brown hair partly covered her face, so Hakutoku couldn’t see it, since he looked at her profile. However the man sitting across from her, saw her frowning. She was thinking hard about Hakutoku’s question.  
After she thought about it for a few minutes she faced Hakutoku and said: “It depends on when he should become emperor. I don’t think he will be a good ruler, if he had to take the crown now. However, in a few years, I think, he will be ready and then he will be a good emperor. He is different from prince Hakuyuu, but that doesn’t make him worse than his brother. On the battlefield he has already proven that he is reliable, can make decision even under pressure and doesn’t give up, no matter what. For now I think he should learn how to interact with other politicians in regular situation. From what I have seen until now, prince Hakuren seemed to know what to do and say, when he is in a meeting or on a political gathering. Unfortunately, when he is in private it seems that he is unsure what is allowed to say and do. As emperor he has to keep his act together at all times – the enemy will use any insecurity against him. Moreover, prince Hakuren adored his older brother very much, so I think it is safe to assume that he will not accept the throne, because it should belong to prince Hakuyuu. He needs more time to mourn over his loss – we all do.”  
Hakutoku took her words to heart and thought about them a little bit. Lien more or less had the same opinion on this matter as him. Hakuren was not raised as future emperor, but as advisor and general. Hakuyuu on the other hand was raised as future emperor. From the very first day he had been born, people had pressured him with his future responsibilities. Looked very closely to his actions, his behavior and would immediately judge him. There was no leeway for him. Hakuren on the contrary had it easier in that aspect. No one expected much from him. Yes, he had to be well educated and when meeting with other royals and representing his country he had to behave well, but anything else was not so important. Hakuren would just be one of the many advisors and just one of the many generals. Only his position as second prince made him special, made him different from all the other generals or advisors. With the right education and some time Hakuren could be a suitable replacement for his brother. The second prince was a fast learner, so there was no reason to be worried that he might not learn everything before Hakutoku would die. Furthermore, Hakutoku had no intention of stepping down from his position – yes, he had planned to do so at the end of the year, but the year wasn’t over yet and it was normal to change plans from time to time.  


“Who do you think would be a better emperor Hakuyuu or Hakuren?”  
Lien looked at him in confusion.  
“No one is better or worse. Both have their own way of doing things and their own priorities, but in the end both would improve the empire. The question is just, what would improve first. Prince Hakuyuu is a more traditional person, while prince Hakuren prefers to try new things out and break traditions. These two ways are not superior to each other. They are both good. However they will lead to different futures, but no matter what future it will be, I am sure it will be a great one for our empire”, she answered honestly after thinking about the question for a short moment.  
“And when do you think will Hakuren be ready for the throne? In three years? In five years?”  
Hakutoku was curious about her answer. She was probably the only person here that would not speak after his mouth or try to convince him that another person should get the throne instead of Hakuren. For her nothing would change, no matter who would be the emperor one day.  
“Well, I would say we should give him three years at minimum. It is quite hard to give a concrete answer, because his development depends on so many things.”  
“On what, for example?”  
“For example, when will he be over his older brother’s death and can accept his new role? How will the other nobles react to him? Will they maybe accept him or will they try to oppose him? How will the war go on? When will we win against Gai and Go? In what state will the empire be then? Will Hakuren still be alive in three years?”  
When she said the last sentence, she lowered her eyes to the table. In her opinion it was a valid question. No one had expected Hakuyuu to die so soon and no one expected Hakuren to die soon as well. But now they shouldn’t be so sure about that. What if Hakuren also got sick with this strange illness? Or he could get killed on the battlefield. Also there was the option of him being kidnapped like his younger brother, although she doubted this one. Hakutoku stayed silent for a while. He knew she was right, but the thought of Hakuren dying as well hurt. His youngest son had been kidnapped eight years ago and was probably dead, his oldest son had died yesterday and now he only had Hakuren left, who would still be on the battlefield and fight for the empire and thereby would risk his life. Losing one child was hard, losing a second child was worse, but losing the third child would probably be the end for Gyokuen and probably for him as well. Even when he did not show his love for his children often, it didn’t change the fact that he loved them. So losing them was also hard for him.  
“Miss Fei is right. Hakuren may not be the best candidate at the moment, but this doesn’t mean that he never will be. My son has fought alongside the prince and only had word of praise for him. Prince Hakuren is ready to die for his people, for the empire. He fights alongside his soldiers and commands them well. Always their well-being and the victory in mind. We all have started at the bottom, so why should we judge the young prince differently? I don’t see a reason to call Hakuren unfitting for the crown. He is young and can still improve.”  
The person, who had spoken was an old man to Hakutoku’s right. The man once were a general in the army, but left the army to become the head of his family and enter the political field. His oldest son Yu Quan was now a general in the army as well and fought alongside Hakuyuu and Hakuren against Gai and Go. The second son followed his father in the political field, but there was nothing remarkable about the boy. Yu Sheng’s second son was more free spirited and therewith went against his father’s believes. On the one hand, Hakutoku was of the opinion that such people were needed, but they also had to be good politicians or else they would be nothing but dreamer. Dreamer was the perfect description for Sheng’s son. His first son was more serious and stern, but also very kind, he was more a traditional person. It was a little bit similar to Hakuyuu and Hakuren, although those two were no dreamers. They were both very realistic.  
Hakutoku thought about the words he had heard. He may already have decided to give Hakuren the throne one day, but it was always good to have people agree with your decision. Also this meant Hakuren would at least have to supporters. The other nobles, who were on Hakuren’s side, only thought about their own good and not about the empire or who would really fit the crown. They probably thought, when they supported Hakuren they would get points with the emperor. They were wrong in this regard.  
Yu Sheng and Lien were different. Sheng was quite old already and soon his second son would take his place. There was nothing for him to fear. He had served the empire well and was hold in high regards by most of the other nobles. His first born son Yu Quan had made a name for himself. Sheng had no reason to please the emperor anymore. The worst that could happen to him would be to lose his position and his family being casted out of the palace, but no one would want to lose a great and loyal soldiers as Quan and Sheng himself would leave soon anyway. Lien’s situation was the same. There was nothing for her to lose besides her position. However, she hold it very dear, since she had worked so hard for it and she was proud of it. Still in the end, there was no reason for her to toady to the royal family, especially not when it had been the emperor himself, who had sought her father out for a marriage between her and the former crown prince.  


“It is good to hear that the two of you support Hakuren. He will need people like you at his side. You know, even when he always acts as if everything was fine, he is very judicial with himself and therefore he often doubts himself. I hope you can help him to improve and become an emperor fitting for the Kou Empire.”  
With these words Hakutoku stood up and left the room. His leaving was noticed by the other nobles, who immediately also rose up on their feet. Some followed Hakutoku outside, while some others remained in the room. Mao Yazhen’s looked at Lien with a smile. Somehow Yazhen had found out about the engagement between Fei Lien and Hakuyuu – Lien assumed some of the father trusted advisors had leaked the information – and he was not pleased with it. He was one of those men that accused her of getting her position by using dirty methods – like having an affair with the emperor. In his opinion she should finally marry a man of her status and become a mother – like all women should do. Politic was only for men and not for emotional people like women.  
With large steps he made his way to her.


	14. Chapter 12.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here the second part of chapter 12.
> 
> This will probably the last chapter for this year. In case I am able to write another chapter within this year, I will also upload it. However, if I cannot finish one, the next chapter will probably be out in February 2018.

“Good morning Fei Lien. We haven’t seen each other for some time. How are you?”, Mao Yazhen said.  
The tone of his voice belong in the category of being extremely annoying and “I want to punch you in the face, so shut up”. Lien needed a lot of self-control to not punch him.  
“Good morning as well Mister Mao. I am fine. Thank you very much for asking. I hope your fine as well”, she greeted back with the sweetest smile she could make.  
“Yes, I am fine. Although the death of our crown prince saddens me a lot. It really hurts to know that such a great person is now gone. It must be quite hard for you as well. I mean, you were supposed to marry him.”  
His lips formed into a smug smile. Now Lien wanted to punch him even more, but she had to stay calm.  
“You’re right, it is quite hard to accept the truth. However, for the sake of the empire, I cannot allow myself to be drown in sadness and self-pity. I am sure prince Hakuyuu wouldn’t want this either. He was a man that always looked ahead no matter what, and so will I do now.”  
Lien was fond of Hakuyuu, although they had barely interacted with each other until today. When she was eight years old she first met the former crown prince and his family. Her father had taken her with him to a gathering. She never had been a shy child, but all those stern looking adults frightened her a bit, so she tried to hide behind her father, who was not pleased with her behavior. Hakuren had seen her and had invited her to play with him and his siblings. As the daughter of an influential man she knew, who Hakuren was. At first she had been hesitant, if she should accept the offer of the second prince, but wouldn’t it be rude to reject the offer of the second prince? Therewith she met Hakuyuu, Hakuei and Hakuryuu. She liked the royal siblings, all of them were very nice and Hakuryuu was a very cute child. Back then she had wished to have a younger sibling as well. This was the day Hakutoku first learned of Lien’s existence. Of course, he had an eye on his children, especially Hakuyuu, who was the heir to the throne and had to behave appropriated, so he saw her playing with his children. Later his kids told him about the nice girl, who played with them and how much fun it had been.  
Only two years later Hakutoku recognized her political skills. The year in which she turned ten was a hard year for her and her family. Her stepmother – her second oldest brother’s biological mother – had died and her father had gotten sick. During this time a very important meeting was held and every noble family had sent a representative. This was mostly to not lose face and show off. “Look how smart my children are”, “Look how smart I am”, “Look how many important connections I have”, “Look how well I get along with the royal family”, “Look at me and how great I am”. Like a bunch of small children. Lien’s family had no one to represent them. Her father was sick, her mother was dead, her oldest brother was in another country for his studies and her other older brother had no understanding of politics, thus would embarrass the family. Of course, they could have sent her uncle or another important member, but somehow no one had thought of this and so she had went. It was lucky for her that seemingly no one in her family had cared much about this gathering after her mother’s death.  
At first the other nobles had looked down on her, but when she showed that she had a great political understanding, most of them were quite amazed. Although no one would admit that. They tried to put her down, because she brought shame upon their families. A little girl being better at politics than their oh so well educated sons? This was unacceptable! A disaster! Hakutoku, on the other hand, was simply amazed by her and since that day tried to help her in her career. Therewith she interacted more with Hakuyuu and Hakuren and in the end it led to her engagement with Hakuyuu.

When she heard about Hakuyuu’s death she truly was sad about it – at least that was what she told herself, because when she was honest with herself she wasn’t sure if the was sad about Hakuyuu’s death or because of the engagement. Her father was busier with being sad about the broken engagement. Normally she wasn’t a person, who let herself influence by others, but since the emperor had come to her father and proposed a marriage, this was all her father had talked to her about. She wanted him to recognize her and to be proud of her and she could have achieved this, when she married Hakuyuu. But suddenly her wish seemed to be unreachable again. Maybe it would be the best for her take a few days off and only focus on herself, but with her status she couldn’t afford this. She had to be strong! People like Yazhen would probably use this against her, but fortunately there was almost no one, who knew about the engagement – as long as Yazhen had kept it to himself and this was quite questionable.  
“It really is a tragedy that prince Hakuyuu and you aren’t able to marry each other. The two of you would have been a magnificent couple. To have two so passionate and intelligent people rule over our country would truly have been a blessing for everyone. Thinking about what could have been makes it even sadder that the emperor seemingly really wants to give such an important position to prince Hakuren. From what I heard you think our second, pardon I mean, our first prince is suited for those responsibilities.”  
It was amazing how a single person could drive one so mad that murder sounded like a reasonable and justified response to that person’s existence.  
“Or haven’t you given up on the position of empress?”  
Of course Yazhen had to add something like this at the end. Everything else would have been untypical and maybe Fei Lien would have even started to worry about him.  
“Emperor Hakutoku had asked me, if I think whether prince Hakuren is suited as emperor or not. And I told him that I think that after a little more time, prince Hakuren would be a good emperor. Honestly, I think it is extremely disrespectful towards prince Hakuren and emperor Hakutoku to say otherwise. Prince Hakuren may have a different personality than prince Hakuyuu, but this doesn’t mean that he is less qualified as ruler.”  
“Mao Yazhen, you’re an ambitious young man”, the man, who had sat to Hakutoku’s left, suddenly said, “It is true that the world of politics is filled with treason, maliciousness and trust is something one should not give away easily, but there is no reason to make yourself more enemies. Instead of search for enemies, you should search for allies. You should know by now that Miss Fei is not interested in working against you, just for the sake of power or influence. So, why don’t you try to be kinder to her?”  
“What do you know, old man!”, Yazhen spite at Yu Sheng.  
“I know a lot. For example I know that your family is slowly losing influence, you want to stop this and bring your family back to its former glory. This is quite praiseworthy. There are enough nobles that would only complain about this fact and order others to do the work. However, you take it in your own hands. So seeing how Miss Fei, who comes from a still very influential family, raising up so fast and this as a woman, must be quite painful. You do this job for power and she does it for recognition. Do you hate her, because she only wants to be recognized by the men around her, thereby gaining more and more power – power you want to possess – although she doesn’t want it? Or do you simply hate the fact that a woman is the representative of a noble family? In case of the latter I have to pity you. In case of the first, be advised that nothing will change by antagonizing her. Don’t you think it would be better to work together with her?”  
Without waiting for a response Sheng left the room, thus Lien and Yazhen were now alone.  
“I don’t care what kind of problem you may have with me, but I wish, you would stop treating me the way you do”, Lien said calmly.  
She had listened to Sheng’s words and to her his words sound true. Since she first met Yazhen, she had wondered why the other one hated her so much, but she never thought this could be simply because of her gender or because he might be envious of her achievements.  
“Don’t take his words serious, Lien. I look down on you, because you do not fit your position. There are enough people out there that are better than you, but with your arrogance you take the chance to make this country better away from those people – and from the citizen.”  
With these words Yazhen also left the room, shortly followed by Lien, who could not understand, how a person could be as annoying and outrageous as Yazhen – and why did he always use her first name without permission as if they were close with each other? He was such a disrespectful man!

Outside of the meeting room Mao Yazhen bumped into Hakuren and Jian, who appeared quite excited, which was surprising considering how gloomy they had been not so long ago. For a few seconds Yazhen and Hakuren just starred at each other as if they did know what to do in such a situation. Jian on the other hand just greeted the other man with a bright smile on his face.  
“Good morning, Yazhen. How are you? Do you know where his majesty is?”, Jian asked.  
It was obvious that he did not care about Yazhen’s well-being, but he was a well-mannered young man and there simply asked – ignoring the fact that he used the first name of the other man without permission. Yazhen probably wouldn’t even answer honestly.  
“Good morning, prince Hakuren. I am sorry for your loss”, Yazhen said towards Hakuren and thereby ignoring Jian and his question completely.  
As if he would pay attention to a lowly soldier, who even dared to speak to him in such a casual manner.  
“Good morning, Mao. Don’t worry about me, Jian and I have a plan to bring Hakuyuu back. By the way, where is my father? Shouldn’t he be with you guys?”, responded Hakuren.  
He didn’t like the other man and although he used Yazhen’s last name, he did not respect him. It was a way to show the other one that he was not close to him.  
“You have a plan to bring prince Hakuyuu back from the dead?”, Yazhen asked in disbelieve.  
His opinion of the former second prince got worse. How could someone even think that such a dreamer could be a suitable ruler? That guy even believed in something like “coming back from the dead”! Hakuren must have lost his sense of reality!  
“Yes, as you probably know, we got a guest, who has a son, who died and came back from the dead. So when the other one was able to do so, then why shouldn’t Hakuyuu? This was the reason, why we even invited the other king over. It’s kind of embarrassing that we forgot it so fast.”  
Hakuren was extremely cheerful and Yazhen wasn’t sure how to react. He couldn’t believe what he heard. Maybe this was some kind of coping method of the prince? Not even a small child would believe something so stupid.  
Yazhen like most of the other nobles knew that Hakutoku had sent a letter to an unknown country and asked for help – the critic for this action was high. No one had believed the story Jian had found. They had laughed about the solider, but their laughter stuck in their throats, when Hakutoku decided to give this story a chance.  
“Prince Hakuren, I know it is hard to accept the death of a family member, but please let us stay realistic here. There is no way for someone to come back to life after they died. You should know this better than anyone. How many soldiers have died on the battlefield until today? And how many have come back from death? Many have died and none came back.”  
Yazhen’s voice had gotten louder. It was beyond him how someone could be so naïve, so stupid so… so much like Hakuren. How was it possible that emperor Hakutoku had a son like Hakuyuu and one like Hakuren? Hakuei also was a very realistic person, while Hakurin was more a dreamer, but she also was still a small child. He had also believed in many stupid things, when he had been a child – even their emperor had probably believed in them, when he had been young. There was nothing wrong with that, but one had to grow up one day and this day had already passed for Hakuren.  
“I know you think I am stupid, but let me tell you: I am not! I may believe a lot of things without questioning it, but I am able to distinguish between a wishful thinking and a real possibility. My father had believed in the story of people coming back from the dead as well, or else he would haven’t risked to write an unknown king. So why is it wrong to believe in it for a little bit longer? One shouldn’t give up without having tried everything! By the way, you do not have to believe in it, just tell me where my father is, everything else is nothing of your concern”, Hakuren spoke in a firm voice, but with an angry undertone – it took him quite some self-control to not leash out to Yazhen.  
He was well aware what some of the nobles thought about him and he knew that Yazhen was one of those, who looked down on him, which was quite something considering who Hakuren was.  
While Hakuren and Yazhen talked with each other, Lien also left the room. Of course she had heard the small conversation between the two male, but decided that she should not interfere with them. However, Hakuren was done with his part in the conversation and shifted his attention from Yazhen to Lien. 

“Lien, good morning”, he greeted her cheerfully, which confused her a bit.  
Although she had heard that he thought he found a way to bring his brother back from the dead, this thought was so surreal for her she couldn’t keep it in mind.  
“Do you know where my father is? I really need to talk to him.”  
“I am sorry, your highness, I don’t know, but I guess, he went into his bureau. Well, he could also be on his way to our guest, the black king. Since he hadn’t even greeted our guest until now”, she said – it was nothing unusual for him to call her by her first name, since he considered her a friend of his, while she spoke more formally with him.  
Behind Hakuren Jian waved at Lien with a smile. He felt it was not right to also greet her, because this would seem a bit out of place – the time for greetings was already over, he should have done so as soon as Hakuren had greeted her. Lien waved back at him with her sweetest smile – this time it was an honest smile. She and Jian got a long very well and he was one of the few people in the palace that accepted her the way she was and had no problem with neither her position nor her gender. Sometimes they eat launch together and talked about many different things – everything except politics and war. Jian had even taught her how to use a sword. Although she lacked the strength for wielding one. With a bit more strength training things might improve. Jian believed in her!  
“Alright, then I will go to my father’s bureau and Jian, you will go to our guest’s room. If father is on his way to the black king, we need to talk to him before he meets the other king or else this could turn out a bit awkward.”  
Hakuren had already forgotten about Lien and Yazhen and order Jian around.  
When they had sat in Hakuren’s room and pitied themselves over their loss, Jian suddenly remembered why the black king was even here. After that, they immediately got excited and went to search for Hakutoku. At first they had went to Gyokuen’s bedroom, but there they only found the empress. So they went to look into every meeting room, because Hakuren remembered vaguely that some nobles wanted a meeting to discuss, who would be the next emperor. Given the fact that the palace was a giant place and had a lot of meeting rooms, it took them a while, until they reach the last one. However, when they arrived only Yazhen and Lien were still there.  
“Um, excuse me, your highness, can I somehow help the two of you?”, Lien asked.  
Like Mao Yazhen she did not believed in people coming back from the dead, but Hakuren was also right. They had invited the black king, because his son had come back from the dead, and one should try everything before giving up. They hadn’t tried everything yet.  
“Sure. You can look for my father in his bureau, then Jian and I look, if he is with our guest. It might be better, when I try to stop him. If my father tells Jian to leave, Jian has to follow the order, but I guess, I will have more leeway here. And when he is in his office, you can tell him that he should wait there until I talked to him. I am sure he will listen to you.”  
After hearing that Lien was on their side, Hakuren and Jian got even more excited. Even if Hakutoku would doubt them, they had Fei Lien, who was a very level-headed person. If someone like this also supported their ideas, then the chances that others gave it a try were higher, right? Yazhen, on the other hand, couldn’t believe what he just had witnessed. Although he did not like Lien, he always had thought she was a realistic person, but in the end she was nothing more than a mere woman. He shook his head in disbelieve. It was probably better to leave now, when he wanted to maintain his sanity.  
“Your highness, I will take my leave for now. I wish you the best of luck with your plan on getting prince Hakuyuu back from the dead”, he said and bowed.  
He had forgotten to do so, when he met Hakuren and Jian, which could be considered an offence, but no one of the three had paid any attention to unimportant stuff like that.  
“Thanks. Please tell my father, in case you happen to run into him, that I am searching for him”, Hakuren bid goodbye.  
“I will.”  
And with that Mao Yazhen left the small group in the opposite direction than Hakuren and his friends were about to go.

The other three also were ready to set out, but Lien suddenly asked: “What if I meet the emperor? How can I tell you where he is?”  
“Um, well, when he isn’t with our guest, he must be in his office, so I guess you can only wait. And if he isn’t in his bureau he is with our guest. So, you have to just go to the guest rooms.”  
“It could also be that he is with my father or that he talks with the black king in a different place or that he went back to the empress”, Lien replied skeptical.  
There were many options where the emperor could be. For a split second she even thought of the possibility that he may take a stroll through the garden, but this didn’t seem to fit is stern personality and how he took his duties as emperor seriously. Something like taking a stroll was only done, when all the important work was done or when the empress more or less ordered him to do so.  
“He also could be in the city or at Hakuyuu’s side or with Hakurin or went to the bathroom. Theoretically, he could be everywhere. We have to start somewhere. Just wait at his office, even if he isn’t there. In case he also is not with our guest, then we will get back to you. If we find him, I will send Jian to get you. And when he isn’t either with our guest or at his office, we have to check out all the meeting rooms again and asked around. Someone must have seen him. My father is a person, who is hard to overlook”, Hakuren answered after thinking about Lien’s words for a minute.  
They were many options, but they had to start their search somewhere. If they only thought about where his father could be without actually searching for him, they would never find him. In the worst case, his father would send the black king away without Hakuren being able to talk to his father – which was highly unlikely. It would be quite rude to send a guest away as soon as they had arrived. So, even when Hakutoku told the other man that the reason for his visit was now gone, the emperor would offer him to stay a bit longer and take a look around. Also Hakuren probably would met his father at dinner time at the latest. However for Hakuren it was important to find his father now!  
“Now, let’s get going or else we will never find my father. We can think about where he might be after we have confirmed that he isn’t in his office or the guest’s room.”  
Since neither Jian nor Lien complained – Hakuren would have ignored it anyway – the three set out to find the emperor. For this they had to split up, because Lien had to go straight ahead to get to Hakutoku’s bureau, while Jian and Hakuren had to go right.  
“See you later, Lien”, Jian bid her goodbye with another smile and then hurry up to Hakuren, who almost run down the hallways.  
“See you later”, she responded, although she was sure Jian hadn’t heard her anymore.


	15. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for being so late - I mean, I do have an excuse, but I feel to ashamed to use it...  
> Honestly, I don't know if I should even write anymore, since I don't feel motivated at all... Maybe writing isn't something for me anymore...
> 
> Ah well, the chapter is short, but I focused more on Lien and Jian this time. I hope, you guys like it!

Lien had been through a lot ever since she had joint the world of politics. The men around her always looked down on her and made fun of her. It was hard, especially in the beginning. So many nights had she cried herself to sleep until she finally was used to the unfair treatment. Over the years things got a little bit better. Some men finally accepted her – the emperor and his closest advisors held her in high regards. Hakuyuu and Hakuren held her in high regards. It was still hard, but she wasn’t alone anymore. She had felt like she could made it in this men ruled world. This feeling vanished when Hakuyuu died and people expressed their doubts towards Hakuren. A struggle for power was nothing new inside the palace. Everyone wanted to rule the empire – to rule the world – but they couldn’t openly oppose the emperor, so they used every dirty trick possible to gain more and more power. Now that the crown prince was dead, they hoped to be able to get on the throne by marriage or even have the emperor select one of their sons into the royal family. If they succeeded than Lien would face the same treatment as back then, when she first entered the political world – not to think about the empire itself. Hakutoku loved the empire and so did Hakuyuu and Hakuren. All they did was for the country and its people, but those nobles didn’t care about anyone or anything but themselves and their selfish desires.

Hakuren’s little plan had worked, luckily. After finding Hakutoku and the king of the unknown country, they were able to convince the emperor to talk with his guest about Hakuyuu’s death. Despite calling for the other king and appearing to believe in the story Jian had told him, he actually didn’t believe in people coming back from the dead. However, Lien explained that even when Hakuyuu couldn’t come back anymore, the other king might know what that strange sickness was and how to prevent it or even cure it. What if Hakuren was the next to get it? In such a case they needed a way to cure it! At the moment Hakuren was the only heir to the throne. Hakuei was a princess and her right to the throne was there, however her uncle Koutoku had a higher right to it, since he was male and the younger brother of the current emperor. Although Hakutoku had nothing against his younger brother, he knew all too well that this man was not fitting for the throne. Furthermore, he didn’t want to lose another child.  
Now the emperor and his family had dinner together with their guest, while Lien was sitting in her room looking quite listless. Jian was with her, walking up and down in her room. It wasn’t the first time that he visited her in her room, however there were a few changes since the last time. Those two knew each other for a long time now.  
Hakuren and Hakuyuu were princes and so they were treated differently than normal children. Having fun with each other wasn’t as carefree as it was with other children. Jian, on the other hand, was just the son of a soldier. Moreover he had a personality that was easy to like and get along with. Lien’s father looked down on Jian, so the latter wasn’t welcomed at Lien’s place, yet she dared to bring him over from time to time – everything was fine, as long as her father didn’t know.  
Right now her father was busy with pitying himself and his bad luck, so he didn’t care about the doings of his daughter.

While Lien sat at her desk and stared into the void, Jian was pacing up and down behind her. He wanted to be at the dinner of the royal family. Of course, he knew that even when they came to a conclusion or whatever, nothing much would happen today. Yet he wanted to hear good news and he wanted to hear them right now!  
“Say, Jian, do you really believe that a dead person can come back to life?”, Lien suddenly asked in a hushed voice.  
“Of course! That’s why I told the Emperor about the story I found in the first place! And when you think about it, it isn’t that strange. I mean, not so long ago we didn’t think that magic could be powerful and now we also seek after the magic of a djinn to increase our strength. We don’t know what magic is capable of and just because the magician in our country can’t do it, doesn’t mean that magicians in other countries also can’t do it. I believe it until proven otherwise.”  
“Your confidence is reassuring and worrisome likewise.”  
“What about you?”  
“Me? Well, I don’t believe that people can come back from the dead. Death is final and unchangeable. I wish it would be possible, but it isn’t.”  
“Then why did you help us to convince the Emperor?”  
“Because I wish it would be possible. Because I wish prince Hakuyuu would come back to us. Because, as I explained to the Emperor, we need to know what kind of sickness had killed prince Hakuyuu and how to avoid or cure it.”  
A long silenced followed.  
Lien started to play with a hairpin Hakuyuu had given to her before he had set out with his father many months ago – back then no one would have even dreamed that Hakuyuu would get so horrible sick during this journey.  
Many of her accessories were gifts from Hakuyuu. They were small things like hairpins or jewelry, so barely anyone notice anything. It was expected of a noble woman to have a lot of accessories and change them daily and since Hakuyuu never went over the top with his gifts no one notice anything. In retrospect there had never been a reason for those gifts. Hakuyuu had made her gifts for her birthday, but most of the time he gave her something when nothing special was going on. He wanted to make her smile and she always had smiled. Well, who wouldn’t be happy about a present? For some time Lien had tried to also give gifts to Hakuyuu, but she never really found anything suitable for him. As the crown prince there as nothing he lacked! Whatever he wanted, he would get it in the blink of an eye. In the end she had tried to knit him a few things and he had thanked her, but there were just so many thing one could knit and her skills were relatively poor in this regard.

“In case Hakuyuu stays dead, what will you do, Jian?”, Lien asked.  
She tried her best to hold her tears back. She was quite happy that she didn’t face Jian at the moment. Although they were close friends with each other, she didn’t like to cry in front of others. Too many times had people made fun of her because of this.  
“Um, then I will support Hakuren.”  
What simple answer.  
“And what, if those old … men are able to put one of their sons on the throne? What will you do then?”  
“Um… Well, you know, I became a soldier to protect this country. So, I will protect this country and its citizen. What about you?”  
Lien understood what Jian wanted to say. Supporting Hakuren was different from supporting the country. It meant, in case someone else than Hakuren took the throne, Jian would oppose said person, in case that person did anything questionable or harmful for the country or the citizen. However, if it was Hakuren, he would do everything to support his friend to archive Hakuren’s goal – whatever this was. There was no way that Hakuren would do anything that may harm the country or its citizen, so there was also no reason to oppose him. Maybe this thought was a little bit naïve.  
“Same. For me it’s the same. Hakuren will be a good emperor. He just needs people around him that believe in him and support him. I hope, the Emperor never stops believing in Hakuren.”  
Another moment of silence followed. Lien wiped off her tears and turned around to face Jian, who now laid on her bed, cuddling with her pillows. That guy… When had she given him permission to occupy her bed and cuddle with her pillows?

“Feifei, do you remember the first time we’ve met?”, Jian asked before Lien could lecture him on how one should not enter the bed of another person without permission.  
Dumbstruck by the sudden question, Lien needed a moment before she replied: “First of all, don’t call me Feifei. You know that I don’t like it, when you call me by my last name! We’re friends, right? And second, yes I do remember. How could I forget that little boy that cried his eyes out, because he got lost? Really, you were such a crybaby.”  
Seeming offended Jian sat up and turned around on Lien’s bed, so he could see her.  
“Oh, sorry that little four year old me was scared, when being separated from his parents, wandering around alone in a foreigner city of a foreigner country. I was hungry, lost, scared and helpless! Crying in such a situation is just normal. And by the way, I was cute!”  
With that Jian, once again, laid down on her bed, burring his face into her pillows.  
“Yeah, I have to admit, you were indeed a very cute child. However, with your last remark, are you trying to say that I wasn’t cute? That I am not cute?”  
“Yeah!”  
Jian sounded unbelievable heartbroken and offended – the crybaby comment had really gotten to him.  
“Out!”, Lien firmly ordered, while pointing towards her door.  
Honestly, neither of them was offended or mad at the other one. It was just a little game – a little bit of teasing each other. Calling someone a crybaby, just because said person cried in a situation, in which probably every little child had cried, was exaggerated and unreasonable. And why should a grown up and confident woman like Lien be offended, just because Jian may think she hadn’t been a cute child or wasn’t cute now? She may want to be pretty, but pretty and cute were two different things and she did not care much about the opinion of others. As long as she thought of herself as pretty everything was fine. Jian calling her Feifei offended her more than him saying she wasn’t and hadn’t been cute.

As a good soldier, Jian followed the order given without delay or questioning it. It was already late anyway and he needed to get back to his room – it would cause some problem for Lien, when someone saw him this later in her room. People liked to gossip! Somehow people like to gossip and forget that a man and a woman could also be just friends! This was kind of sad.  
“Then I will take my leave. See you tomorrow, Lienlien”, Jian bid his farewell.  
However, he didn’t come far. Before he even could reach the door, Lien had jump out of her chair, the hairpin – Hakuyuu’s last gift to her – still in hand.  
“Wait!”  
The atmosphere changed again. When they had come here, the mood had been quite gloomy and heavy, despite the fact that their plan had more or less worked out, after their little joke everything had lighten up a bit, but know it suddenly was turned heavy and dark again. It had to be known that Jian really wasn’t good with such things. He was more of an optimistic person, a little ray of sunshine. Of course, he could be serious, but serious didn’t automatically mean depressing and negative. The reason, why he had brought up their first meeting was because, he couldn’t bear the dark atmosphere anymore. Unfortunately, his effort had been for nothing in the end.  
“Jian, promise me, that you will take care of Hakuren and that you will support him no matter what! You… We, we cannot let those… those… people take over the empire and destroy it. We have to make sure that Hakuren knows that we are on his side. That he has us as his friends and supporters.”  
“Of course! I had no other intention! You should stop worrying so much about this! Hakuren has been through worse and never fell. And the emperor is already used to those people and their scheming. He has made his decision and won’t back down from it. You should have more faith in Hakuren and the emperor.”  
“I have faith in them. I trust them with my life. But I don’t have any faith or trust in this creeps! You know yourself how they can be!”  
Only a few steps were between them, a few steps that Lien easily overcame to give Jian a hug. It’s been a long while since the last time she had given a hug or received one. Her family was not a touchy one and her father even seemed to greatly dislike any kind of body contact with others – even or especially with his daughter. So the only people around her that were open for hugs were Jian and the princes. However, due to their status Hakuyuu and Hakuren barely hugged others – it was more common with their younger siblings or their mother. In the end, there was only Jian left for her, who was out of the country more and more often to fight in the war between the three countries Kou, Go and Gai. Jian was someone, who loved hugs to no end. He loved to give hug and to receive them. Not even the two princes were safe from him – of course, he made sure to not hug them in public or when someone else was around. Hakurin also received many hugs from him, whenever there was a good chance. Although they weren’t that close with each other, it was obvious that they liked each other a lot. Hakurin liked Jian simply because he was nice to her and seemed care about her. It was hard to find someone that was willing to listen to her childish babbling about her dreams and wishes and so on. Jian, on the other hand, like Hakurin simply because she was a child. He liked children. To him children were pure and simple. They were what he wished the world would be. Children didn’t plot against each other or murderer or betrayed. Children were simple and sweet. Also, Hakurin was an optimistic person, just like him. His relationship with Hakuei was different. For him this little girl never had the aura of a child. She was too stiff and uptight – way too stern and serious for a child. Not cute at all!

Gently Jian hugged Lien back. Tenderly stroking over her back. Lien had already started to cry. Normally when a person died, those, who were left behind, would mourn together or at least had someone they could go to. However, Lien was alone. Her father only cared about the lost opportunity, not about her. Who knew, if he even cared about the fact that the crown prince had died?  
It also wasn’t very helpful that she even questioned her own sorrow. Was she sad because of the lost opportunity or was she sad, because she had lost a dear friend – had Hakuyuu and her even been friends –, or was she sad, because of the lost opportunity and because she had lost a friend?  
“Jian, I am so confused. Why is this all happening and why does it seem that those nobles don’t care about the fact that the crown prince has died? And why am I sad? Am I sad, because I lost a friend or am I sad because now I cannot marry prince Hakuyuu anymore and become the empress? I don’t even know what prince Hakuyuu was to me all these years. Were we friends? Or was he just my opportunity to receive my father’s love? Why has this all to happen? Why did prince Hakuyuu have to die? I feel so lost and lonely and I am confused! What should I do, Jian? What should I do?”  
Lien had buried her face into Jian’s chest and cried her eyes out. She really was confused and Hakuyuu’s death was still fresh on her mind – not surprising considering that it only happened yesterday. Yesterday it had felt more like a bad joke, a bad dream. She didn’t feel like mourning back then, because it didn’t feel real to her at all. But since this morning, when Hakuyuu was still dead, a deep sadness has overcome her and she didn’t know where to go to or what to do with it. Her tight schedule didn’t allow for a break and on one side, she was happy, because then she hadn’t had to think too much about Hakuyuu, but on the other side, she really needed a moment or two for herself. This moment was now.  
While Lien cried, Jian was lost. He wasn’t really good with crying people. Whenever he had to deal with someone crying he felt overwhelmed. “Calm down”, was the response to Lien’s question in his head, but he knew he shouldn’t say that out loud now. Calming down may be the best thing for now, but wouldn’t it hurt her feelings, when he said it? Wouldn’t it sound like he didn’t take her and her feelings, her worries, serious? But he took her serious. He could even understand her. Although he had never been in a similar situation, to him it was something logical to feel confused right now. Who wouldn’t be happy about marrying the future emperor? An empress had a lot of power and wealth. Becoming the empress also meant a rise in the social status of the family. Lien suffered like many over female nobles from the lack of love and recognition from their parents, especially from their fathers. They were more like tools than humans. Being selected as the bride for the future emperor would gain them the love and attention from their family, even when said love and attention was bond to a condition, even when said love and attention was not real and honest.

Softly Jian moved Lien and himself to her bed, so she could sit down.  
“It’s fine, Lien. Everything is fine. I don’t know about you and your feelings, but I can assure you that Hakuyuu saw you as a dear friend. Sometimes, when we were out on the field, he would talk about you. Well, he mostly wondered about what you might think about this and that. And whenever we were on a market he looked after nice stuff for you. He cared about you and wanted you to feel good, even with that arranged marriage. I think, what you are feeling right now it pretty normal for someone in your position. After working so hard for so many years, your father finally started to pay attention to you. He finally seemed to care about you. And despite knowing that his feelings were only superficial, you accepted them. You have waited for them for so long. You fear losing his love, while knowing that he had never loved you. Yet, children only want the love of their parents. No matter what. I understand that. I think you are sad for losing such a great and precious friend like Hakuyuu, but you’re also sad for losing your father’s love and attention. You are sad and afraid that things may return to the way they were before your engagement with Hakuyuu. However, you should know that this cannot happen, because many things have changed since then. You have the support of some of the council members and emperor Hakutoku is still very fond of you. Hakuren also sees you as a precious friend and ally. You may not become his wife, but I am sure that he will make you into his first advisor and right-hand man… woman. Don’t doubt you feelings! To me it looked more like you liked him for who he was, not for his position and power. You’re not that type of person!”  
If she truly only cared about Hakuyuu, because he would increase her status, she wouldn’t act like that. She wouldn’t even doubt herself. Jian knew Lien for a long time now and everyone knew that she didn’t care much about a person’s status. If she had ever cared, she wouldn’t be where she was right now. She would have long given up on fighting her way to the top. Of course, she wasn’t complete immune to things like the status of a person, since in the world of the palace status meant a lot – it could decide life and death! The reason she had endure all the suffering, was to gain her current status, not because of the power that came with it, but so her father would finally accept her. However, she didn’t care about being empress or not. As long as she could help the empire, she was fine. At the same time, being the empress would ensure her father’s love for her – something she was longing for since she was a little kid. It was complicated.  
“And now go to bed, will you. It is already quite late and you look tired. Here, take this very soft and fluffy pillow and drift into the magical world of beautiful dreams.”  
Jian took the hairpin out of Lien’s hand and after placing it on top of the nightstand, handed her one of the pillows he had cuddled with before. Afterwards he got up. Despite their close relationship with Hakuyuu, they were not allowed to slack off. So Jian had to go to his daily training and follow his duties as soldier, while Lien had to do her job as advisor and minister. A good rest was important for both of them – let alone all the stupid rumors that may spread, when someone saw Jian this late in her room.  
“Jian, before you go, give me some tissues.”  
Silently Jian got her some tissues from her nightstand, then he left. Unseen he was able to leave the mansion – feeling like a thief, since he had to hide from the servants and needed to watch where he walked to avoid being seen by someone.

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews/Comments would be very much appreciated.


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